Friday, 31 August 2012

Eaten Alive

AUGUST 31, 2012

GENRE: SURVIVAL
SOURCE: STREAMING (NETFLIX INSTANT)

I have a buddy who claims that Tobe Hooper has never made a bad film, which is contrary to what most sane people think (which would be that he's only made a couple that were any good). As of this writing, he has yet to reply to my Facebook wall post asking him to explain how Eaten Alive (aka Death Trap, and pretty much every combination of two English words you can imagine - it has more titles than an Italian zombie flick) could be considered good by any reasonable measure.

I mean, sure, it has a certain batshit charm that would probably make it a hoot to watch with a crowd, but that's also how I'd describe The Room, and fuck anyone who claims that's not a bad movie. To be fair, Hooper says he was at odds with his producers throughout production on this one, and as legend has it, walked off before filming was completed (and thus presumably had no presence in post-production), so you can't chalk all of this film's faults up to him. The fact that it was his followup to Texas Chainsaw Massacre also probably put some unfair expectations on this one, not unlike Carpenter's Halloween followup, The Fog, which has only started getting the respect it deserves in the past 5-6 years.

But even factoring that in, this is just a mess. Horribly disjointed and populated exclusively with assholes and degenerates (William Finley is one of the more normal characters - let that sink in), there is precious little to enjoy here. Most of my amusement was generated by realizations, such as the fact that the movie turns into a Manos remake during its second act. Not even joking - a bickering couple with a quiet girl gets lost and stops at the main locale, where the girl's dog is killed almost instantly and the family is terrorized by the owner of the place. Sound familiar? That the production value and professionalism on display here is only slightly above that of Manos just makes the similarities even more apparent.

I also chuckled at the irony, as I was watching this to wash away the stink of Texas Chainsaw 4, which I covered for my Badass Digest column this week - I figured an old-school Hooper flick would even things out. Not only did this not help (it's better, of course, but barely), but I got an unexpected reminder of the flick, as both of them were apparently an influence on Rob Zombie when he made House of 1000 Corpses. There's a subplot here about a dad coming to the place looking for his daughter that was killed earlier, and it plays out almost exactly like it does in Zombie's film. Plus the main location is the sort of backwoods "tourist trap" that the characters in Corpses would have visited, so the similarities can't be coincidence.

But I could forgive all (OK, some) of that if the movie ever generated any suspense at all, and that's where it fails most miserably. The opening kill is a decent enough surprise if you're expecting the girl to be the hero (yeah, it's not only a reprise of Chainsaw and Manos, but Psycho as well), but too much of the back half revolves around the little girl, who is trapped under the house and under threat of the crocodile that the owner keeps in a swamp. Sorry, but even though the girl is Kyle Richards, whose sister Kim played the ill-fated vanilla twist enthusiast in the previous year's Assault on Precinct 13, there's no way in hell I believe that she's going to get chomped, rendering all of this stuff a waste of time. And since everyone else is kind of despicable or just plain weird, there isn't any real concern when they're in the vicinity of the croc's jaws, either. Go ahead and kill them all so we can get home early.

It's also poorly made, so even if Hooper didn't shoot all of it, it's not really much of an excuse since all of it kind of looks like ass. Despite having something like 7x the money at his disposal, it actually looks cheaper than Chainsaw. The production design is lousy, the lighting often murky, etc. There are some scenes that are tinted red, which looks cool but means nothing, and just sort of adds to the film's erratic feel instead of sticking out as an actual stylistic choice. It's also gory, which is a shame in a weird way as Chainsaw was so effective and scary without any real gore at all, but here we get blood spurting out of necks and such, adding to the movie's overall crudeness and further making me wonder if Steven Spielberg didn't actually direct Chainsaw as well (OK that's a cheap shot, but come on, it's a FUNNY cheap shot). I was charmed to later learn that the movie was shot at the Raleigh Studios on Melrose - not only was I right across the street from it earlier today (it's across the street from Greendale Community College, where I wish I could enroll for night classes), but it's also where the Shriekfest Film Festival occurs every year. Having seen a lot of similarly shoddy, inept movies there, it was sort of endearing to think that one was actually made on the premises.

Despite all of that, it's not even his worst movie. I'd take it over Spontaneous Combustion or The Mangler, and his Masters of Horror episode Dance of the Dead (which also had Robert Englund, who plays an asshole hick here) is still one of the absolute worst things I've ever seen in my life. I'd even entertain watching it at the New Beverly or something, where its many, many lapses in logic and amateurish production would provide a lot of entertainment thanks to the infectious energy of a bewildered crowd. But by myself on a computer monitor? Yikes.

What say you?

Worth Mentioning - Clive Owen, Spinning Wheels

We watch several movies a week. Every Friday, we'll talk a little about some of the movies we watched that we felt were Worth Mentioning.
 

Eight great directors try to entice Cody with BMWs.



THE HIRE (2001 - 2002)

In the early days of the realization that the internet could be used as a marketing tool, BMW had a very cool and innovative idea: they would produce a series of short films telling stories centered around their vehicles. These wouldn't be commercials for television, they'd only be available for viewing on BMW's website.

The original plan was to do five films, each to be made by a different director and each of those directors to be one of the most interesting filmmakers in the business. Another such filmmaker, David Fincher (Fight Club), was brought on as the series' executive producer and helped develop the project, but wouldn't direct any of the shorts because he was also working on Panic Room at the time. Each short would be a self-contained story, the only connection between them would be the lead character, The Driver, a man who travels the globe taking jobs that put him behind the wheel of a BMW and often put his life in danger.

The Driver would be played by Clive Owen, and since the producers of the James Bond film series started their search for a new actor to play 007 soon after the BMW shorts hit the internet featuring Owen playing a cool and capable man who makes his way through action sequences in nice cars, The Hire became one of the top references for why some fans thought Owen was a great contender for the role. He's not Bond, but Owen is awesome as The Driver.

The first season of The Hire began on April 26, 2001 and consisted of:



AMBUSH

Directed by John Frankenheimer, whose filmography included 1962's The Manchurian Candidate, I Walk the Line, French Connection II, and Ronin, which features one of the most highly regarded car chase sequences in film, and written by Fincher's Se7en collaborator Andrew Kevin Walker, Ambush finds The Driver cruising along a U.S. highway when a van full of heavily armed men wearing ski masks pulls up beside him. The men demand to be given what The Driver's passenger has in his possession: two million dollars worth of stolen diamonds. The passenger confirms this, but claims that he got the diamonds through customs by swallowing them. These men will kill him and dissect him to get what they want. The Driver can't in good conscience allow that to happen, so a chase full of speed, fancy maneuvers, and gunfire ensues.



CHOSEN

A young Asian child arrives by tugboat at a New York dock, where he's picked up by The Driver, who is to deliver him to a suburban house inhabited by a group of Tibetan monks. As soon as the child is in The Driver's care, they are confronted by carloads of men who have nefarious plans for the little Buddha. The chase around the icy, deserted shipyard is presented as a vehicular ballet, set to the music of composer Mychael Danna, and there is a mystical edge to the story as precognition and a syringe full of a strange, purple liquid play into it. Chosen also includes a rare moment of physical action for The Driver outside of his car.


The child is played by Mason C. Lee, son of the short's director Ang Lee, who was fresh off the Oscar-nominated success of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and had just signed on to direct the 2003 Hulk movie. His next project gets a nod in the form of an Incredible Hulk bandage that the child gives to The Driver.



THE FOLLOW

Departing from the action-heavy style of its predecessors, this short is actually a low-key drama that's all about mood. Director Wong Kar-wai (Chungking Express) presents the story written by Andrew Kevin Walker in a non-linear fashion. Scenes showing the process of The Driver being hired by an uncredited Forest Whitaker and the actor with jerkish tendencies who he manages, Mickey Rourke playing a character named Mickey, are intercut with The Driver doing the job he is hired to do, which is just follow the actor's beautiful young wife (Brazilian model Adriana Lima) around the city, since Mickey is paranoid that she's been cheating on him.


The scenes of The Driver following the wife are wonderfully shot by cinematographer Harris Savides, accompanied by rather romantic music by Joel Goodman and Jeff Rona, with a voiceover from The Driver explaining the art of how to properly tail someone. The Driver advises that you should never get too close to the person you're following, which isn't just a warning about proximity, but also a rule that he seems to break emotionally as he appears to start caring for the woman.

There have been some issues with The Follow that have limited its availability, it hasn't been included on some of the DVD collections of the shorts and the rumored reason is that it was made explicit in Forest Whitaker's contract that it should only be available online. The problem was worked out for some editions.



STAR

Director Guy Ritchie (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch) takes a comedic route with his contribution to the series, casting then-wife Madonna as a world famous superstar singer who bullies and bitches her way into The Driver's car. Her attitude is so horrible that The Driver uses the ride to her destination to teach her a lesson in humility, speeding through traffic, hitting bumps and taking fast turns so that the star, who did not buckle her seatbelt, is tossed around in the backseat like a hateful ragdoll. This is probably one of Elton John's favorite things to watch these days.

Note for Bond fans: Toru Tanaka Jr., son of Goldfinger's Harold "Oddjob" Sakata, appears as one of the singer's bodyguards.



POWDER KEG

There is nothing in this entry directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu (Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel) to show off the beauty or ability of a BMW vehicle, there just happens to be one in this realistic, deadly serious drama/thriller, shot handheld on extremely grainy Ektachrome 16mm film.

Inspired by real events, the story follows a veteran war photographer (played by Stellan Skarsgård), who witnesses a massacre committed by terrorist forces in a South American country. Severely wounded while fleeing the scene, the photographer is picked up by The Driver, sent to take the man to medical help across the border, which is not an easy task. As they drive through the city streets, the photographer questions the usefulness of his profession and laments how the country they're in is being destroyed in the pursuit of cocaine, every line the yuppies snort of it is a line of blood. Deep, troubling subjects impressively and effectively dealt with in this surprising short.


The Hire was very successful for BMW, the shorts being viewed 11 million times in the first four months, bringing their website two million new registered users and having a hand in a 12% increase in sales, so it was decided that a second batch of shorts would be made.

Ridley and Tony Scott joined as executive producers on the second season, which consisted of:


 

HOSTAGE

John Woo (The Killer, Hard Boiled, Mission: Impossible II) directs the hell out of a story that places The Driver in a race against time and misunderstanding police officers as he attempts to rescue business CEO Linda Delacroix (Kathryn Morris). Delacroix has been kidnapped and held for a five million dollar ransom by a former employee played by Maury Chaykin, who has placed her in the trunk of a car that is sinking into the sea now that high tide has rolled in. The Driver talks to the woman over her cell phone as he desperately tries to reach the location where her signal has been triangulated to before she drowns.

It's a bit of a spoiler, but I have to say - the idea that the lovely Kathryn Morris would use Maury Chaykin for sex is something of a head-scratcher.



TICKER

Joe Carnahan (Smokin' Aces, The A-Team, The Grey) was a brand new up and comer on the scene when he was hired to write and direct a film in The Hire series, his short being his third directing effort following his $7000 debut Blood, Guts, Bullets and Octane and the $7 million Narc. He brought his Narc editor along with him to Ticker, that editor being John Gilroy, who edited this year's The Bourne Legacy.

Carnahan lays out the story in an intriguing manner as The Driver speeds a wounded man (Don Cheadle) with a mysterious briefcase through a remote location, pursued by soldiers and a machine gun-firing helicopter. When the briefcase is hit by a bullet, a strange liquid bubbles and sprays from it, coating the windshield. The Driver panics - "Is it chemical? Is biological?" A digital number display on the case starts ticking down, and whatever is inside of it, the life of a great man depends on it reaching its destination. Ray Liotta, Robert Patrick, Dennis Haysbert, and F. Murray Abraham show up in cameo roles along the way.

Ticker is dedicated to the memory of the man credited with the story idea, Joe Sweet, the copywriter at the Fallon Worldwide ad agency who had co-created the concept of The Hire. During season one, Sweet had co-written Star with Guy Ritchie and was creative consultant on Powder Keg. Sweet left Fallon in 2001 and wrote, directed, shot, and edited his own movie called How to Kill a Mockingbird (not based on the Harper Lee novel that didn't have "How" in the title), featuring fifty speaking parts and made for $30,000. How to Kill a Mockingbird made its premiere in August of 2002, Sweet celebrated his second wedding anniversary on September 22nd, and tragically died from a blood clot on October 4th, twenty days before The Hire season two started with the internet premiere of Hostage.



BEAT THE DEVIL

November, 1954. James Brown sold his soul to The Devil to gain the abilities that would make him the Godfather of Soul. November, 2002. With the aging process taking its toll on him and his career, Brown wants to re-negotiate the contract. Accompanied to The Devil's Las Vegas apartment by The Driver, Brown suggests a deal, another soul for another fifty years. He's offering The Driver's soul. A wager is made that I'm not quite clear on the rules of, but it involves a drag race from the Vegas strip to a railroad crossing in the desert, The Driver and James Brown vs. The Devil and his driver Bob, played by Danny Trejo. Gary Oldman is The Devil, James Brown is James Brown, and Marilyn Manson makes a cameo appearance as himself.


Director Tony Scott ends this series with a dose of pure insanity, using the short to test out some experimental ideas he had for his next feature, Man on Fire. He said he wanted to make the audience feel like they were on crystal meth while they were watching Beat the Devil and he's pretty successful at achieving that goal. The characters are manic, the editing hyperactive, the camera all over the place, zooming in and out. Speed, sound, and color timing are manipulated, logic is out the window.

Beat the Devil isn't really my bag, but James Brown's line "I traded a sunrise for a sunset" has always stuck with me for some reason.


The Hire was a great concept and the collection of shorts is definitely worth checking out. Watching all eight of the short films in a row makes for a very entertaining hour or so of viewing that holds up to repeat viewings every now and then over the years. I wish that there had been more seasons, but I'm happy with the two that we got.



In 2004 - 2005, Dark Horse published four issues of The Driver's continuing adventures in comic book form. Matt Wagner (Grendel, Mage) wrote issue #1: Scandal, in which The Driver has to keep a Paris Hilton-type safe. Issue #2: Precious Cargo was written by legendary actor Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead, Running Time, Spider-Man), who put The Driver on the streets of his beloved Detroit, Motor City. Issue #3: Hijacked came from Mark Waid (The Flash, Captain America, Kingdom Come) and the chase he came up with includes The Driver taking his car across rooftops. The comics end with #4: Tycoon and a chase in France, written by Kurt Busiek (Astro City, The Avengers) and Steven Grant (The Punisher).

The short film series has ended, the comic book series has ended, but I believe that The Driver is still out there somewhere...

How many anonymous devil possession movies can there be?


It seems we can't get through the dregs of the release schedule these days without them throwing another devil possession movie at us.

Early January and late August are generally considered the two weakest times of the year to release a movie in theaters, and each of those periods have featured an anonymous devil possession movie in 2012.

On January 4th, it was The Devil Inside. And on August 31st, it's The Possession. Even with Sam Raimi listed as a producer, this one seems pretty dubious. Plus, the fact that the last day of August falls on a Friday this year makes the extremity of the release date within this dregs period seem even greater. If there were an August 32nd, they would have released it that day instead.

Of course, the moment you make such a generalization, you can just as easily disprove it. August of 2011 had no devil possession movie, unless you want to consider the astronauts in last year's Apollo 18 to be "possessed" (and their behavior certainly indicates that, though it would be a lot more fair to blame aliens than the devil). But January of 2011 saw the release of The Rite, and The Last Exorcism came out on August 27th of 2010. (Though to be fair, I saw that one and can say it was effectively done.) You could even fit Legion (released in January of 2010) into that category, though the FX budget of that movie made it a little less forgettable all told. (In terms of quality, though, it was worse than forgettable -- it was memorably bad.)

How far back does this go? August 2009 didn't have anything, but January 2009 had The Unborn. At some point, though, you could start changing the generalization to this: Januarys and Augusts feature bad horror movies, period, not specifically devil possession movies.

Of course, you'd be foolish to discount the role of the Paranormal Activity films in the relentless churning out of these movies with similar titles and similar subject matters. The fourth one will be upon us this October, and unless people suddenly stop wanting to see them, there will undoubtedly be a fifth in October of 2013. And pretty soon we'll be in Saw territory, if we're not there already.

I'm wondering if there has been a handing off of the baton from torture porn movies to devil possession movies. You don't see all that much torture porn coming out anymore, but devil possession seems to be all the rage, even if most of the movies in this subgenre barely make a blip at the box office. Something about the world we live in today makes us more fearful for the eternal lives of our souls than for the loss of various limbs hacked off by ordinary, run-of-the-mill psychopaths who only have a devil on their shoulder, not working them like a puppet.

Bring on September. I haven't wanted to see anything in the theater in weeks now.

And have a terrific Labor Day weekend, everyone.

Thursday, 30 August 2012

The Theatrical Trauma of August 31st


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The August Box Office has been brutal this year, with most of the month's releases drawing little business. Bourne underperformed, Expendables 2 basically tanked, and Total Recall was a massive bust. August has long been one of Hollywood's dumping grounds for shitty flicks, and it looks like this year people are realizing that.

What about the horror flicks though?

Well, the awful The Apparition barely made back 3.5 million of its 17 million budget; Paranorman has made 30 million so far, and might end up close to 50 before the end. Maybe. Everything else genre had micro-limited releases, so not much news there...

And just what in the hell is an Oogielove?!?

This week, Lawless already opened to decent numbers on Wednesday, and hopefully it can have a decent showing through the weekend. For us, the big movie of the week is The Possession (aka The Dibbuk Box.) We're big Jeffrey Dean Morgan fans around here, so we're hoping that it will deliver. It looks good.

We do have to heartily recommend The Tall Man. If you haven't seen it on VOD already, try to catch it in its limited theatrical release. It was a solid flick that caught us by surprise, and we think you'll dig it. *Check the review on the side panel.

The Day looks interesting too, and The Good Doctor might be decent... we'll be waiting for those to hit DVD/BD though.

September had better be way better than August has been.

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One-Eyed Monster (2008)

AUGUST 30, 2012

GENRE: COMEDIC, MONSTER, WEIRD
SOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)

I forget where I read it, but some article about the making of Men In Black has stuck with me for 15 years now, concerning Tommy Lee Jones' acting. Barry Sonnenfeld told him that the straighter he played the role, the funnier he would be, and he's right. While Will Smith's mugging gets tired/dated, Jones is still hilarious, keeping that movie worth watching all these years (and inferior sequels) later. Thankfully, someone on One-Eyed Monster had the same idea, and while the joke wears thin by the halfway point or so, I was impressed enough by that point to forgive them.

And that joke is this: the monster in the movie is Ron Jeremy's detached penis, which is scurrying about and killing the crew of a porno movie being shot in an isolated cabin. It's the sort of idea that might not even last the length of an SNL skit, but the fact that most of the cast plays it straight actually sustains it longer than it has any right to do so. Plus, it's actually pretty amusing; the Jason Graham character in particular has a wonderful attitude about the whole thing - he acts as if this is not completely unusual, and has a great deadpan face as he discusses plans to kill the killer cock.

They also get a lot of mileage out of mocking the adult film business in general, like when a girl who has been in 150 films is referred to as "just a beginner". One character has designed a robotic vagina that can simulate any celebrities' orifices, and needs someone to test it, resulting in this terrific exchange:

Science guy: "Just stick your dick in there."
Porn actor: "No way, I'm not fucking with my livelihood!"
Graham: "You DO fuck with your livelihood."

Heh.

But the biggest laughs surround Jeremy's legacy in the genre, like when an older gentleman who appears to be a clueless movie fan admits he lost a bet with his mother about the length of Jeremy's penis. And the science guy theorizes that the reason the meteor/alien/whatever has infected Jeremy is because "50% of what we beam into space via satellite is porn, and Ron appears in 50% of them!". See, the alien wants to reproduce, and who better than the man who has had more sexual encounters than probably any other living male? And again, all of this is played completely straight, no different than the people in a slasher trying to explain why the killer is after them. It really works.

But, I mean, it's a killer dick movie. After a while, the jokes run thin, and they start to noticeably grasp at straws, like when the thing goes up another guy's butt and possesses him for like 40 seconds. As soon as someone says "He's being controlled", the "subplot" ends, never to be mentioned again. Amber Benson's character also more or less betrays the others at one point (she has a thing for Ron), but it has no real effect on anything other than to provide an excuse to cut to her making strange faces throughout the film. Scenes are drawn out, Charles Napier's character tells a complicated backstory that even for a movie about a killer cock is a bit far-fetched (he has seen this sort of thing before - and just HAPPENS to be in the area when it happens again?). I think they might have fared a bit better by keeping the thing a "secret" for a while, letting it off a few of them one by one before anyone noticed something was amiss, but they're caught up roughly 5 minutes after it first appears, which accounts for some of the wheel spinning.

Also, and I can't believe I'm about to say this, but we don't see the dick enough. I 100% appreciate that it's a practical effect, and I assume it wasn't easy to puppeteer, but nearly every "action" or scare scene is just a bunch of folks looking around the room at random, or maybe a POV shot. At one point we see that it has burrowed a hole through someone's head - er, how? It's a round, fleshy thing! I want to see how this thing works! I mean, any viewer would already have resigned themselves to watching a movie about a killer penis, so why are they holding back? That said, I was actually surprised at how chaste the movie was. There's only one scene with nudity, I think (which has a great punchline), and most of the deaths are off-screen. Here I was almost afraid to watch the thing thinking it would be more porn than horror, and as it turns out any random Friday the 13th movie is closer to X-rated.

The movie has a lot of bonus features, most of which are worth a look. There's a fun collection of outtakes where the guy lists different celebrities he wants to simulate with the machine, and some amusing character moments in deleted scenes that were cut for time. The "Penis Wrangler" featurette, like the movie, goes longer than its thin premise requires, pretending that that fake penises and the men who sculpt/control them have been part of Hollywood for decades ("This was for Sidney Poitier in Guess Who's Coming To Dinner," someone says, holding up a giant black phallus, "but the scene was cut."). Cute idea, should have been cut in half. Same goes for the chat with Jeremy and fellow porn icon Veronica Hart, as they discuss how the business has changed over the years, where they think it's going, etc. They keep talking over each other, repeating themselves... it's sort of like listening to two drunks at a bar arguing about the President or something. Except they probably won't reflect on the time they both sucked on one of their own dicks (a skill Jeremy has, apparently).

Then there's the commentary by director Adam Fields and his brothers Jordan and Scott, which is even more surprisingly serious than the movie. They point out its flaws (including, as expected, having to extend scenes beyond reason just to make a feature runtime), shooting issues, etc. One of them is actually quite critical, which I guess you can chalk up to typical brotherly rivalry or whatever, but either way it's not as enjoyable to listen to as you might think, considering the subject matter. And one of them (Jordan, I think) says that he dislikes Shawshank Redemption, so that bummed me out as I was certain that no one in the world disliked that movie. I've heard worse tracks, but it doesn't seem like they're all that into it, so perhaps they should have opted for select scene commentary instead of doing the whole movie.

So here's a benefit of doing HMAD - this is not the first killer penis movie I've seen, as Frank Henenlotter's Bad Biology has a third act focusing on a similar "monster". Thus, when I tell you this is the best killer cock movie I've ever seen, I'm not being a wiseass - it's a legitimate compliment! I've seen worse!

What say you?

Dewey Cox, live and in concert


When I woke up yesterday morning, I couldn't have known I would finish my day at a Dewey Cox concert.

Yet these were the true facts of my Wednesday.

I had already been planning to hijack our normal Wednesday night routine of dinner followed by whatever shows on our DVR seemed to exert the greatest pull on our attentions. I was planning to ask my wife to be excused from our normal viewing schedule to fit in the final of three John Cassavetes movies for this month's Getting Acquainted, The Killing of a Chinese Bookie. I'd give her the option of watching it with me, but rather expected that I'd confine myself to the bedroom to watch it there myself.

Little did I know that the evening would be hijacked in an entirely unexpected and wonderful way that was wholly different from that.

At 6:16 p.m. I received this text from my friend: "Hey man, any chance you want to go see John C. Reilly performing as Dewey Cox with me tonight in Hollywood? I'm sitting on a ticket."

Now, as a husband, a father, and someone who is generally always tired from a day that involves a 50-mile commute round trip, my first instinct was to reject the offer. There were plenty of reasons to do so. If it weren't the uncertainty of how this offer would affect my role in my son's bedtime routine, or the fact that I'd be putting another couple dozen miles on my car, my mere exhaustion would have been reason enough.

But clearly I wanted to do it, having not seen this friend I like very much in about a year, so I simply read the text to my wife to gauge her reaction. No sooner had I finished reading it than she was basically ushering me out the door with a big smile on her face. "How often do you get an opportunity like that?" she asked. Since the show didn't begin until 9, no immediate ushering was needed, and it wouldn't even affect putting my son to bed, which was only 45 minutes off.

Seeing John C. Reilly performing live as the title character in 2007's Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story would have been incentive enough even for people who don't like the film, but who appreciate the actor in general and would love to see this little experiment in Andy Kaufman-style showmanship play itself out. As it happens, I love the film, as described in this post, which was meant to be the beginning of a series of reflections on unexpected gems under the banner "Overachievers." I haven't actually written another post in this series since then. (Two days later, I wrote a piece about The Terminal under a similar "Underachievers" banner, and haven't continued that series either.)

So at 8:45 I found myself outside a bar on Beverly called Bootleg, which is more properly in Silverlake or even Echo Park than Hollywood. I couldn't believe this was actually the place. The crowd outside was sparse, to say the least. As I waited for my friend to arrive with the tickets -- off to the side, since a sign discouraged gathering at the bar's entrance -- only a couple people trickled in here and there, and most of the time it was just myself and the bouncer.

When my friend arrived and we entered, I was struck by the intimacy of the space. I didn't see any signs which delineated the capacity, but I figured it could be no more than 200. Even though Walk Hard was not a huge hit and is now five years in the past, I expected that an appearance by Reilly as Cox could summon a much larger audience and fill a much bigger space. Of course, I was thrilled that it wouldn't and hadn't.

We met the other two in our party -- a woman I hadn't met, and a guy I'd met about seven years ago but hadn't seen since -- and the place started to fill up a bit. The reason there were only 37 people there when we first entered was that there was an opening act, Mike Andrews, whose appearance consumed nearly the first two hours of the evening, as it turned out. This was fine by me, as I was immediately under the spell of his ensemble, which grew to about six people at its largest. In fact, remind me that I'm going to look up this guy on itunes when I get home tonight. He has a cinematic connection as well, as Andrews mentioned working with Mira Nair on an upcoming movie (which must be either Words with Gods or The Reluctant Fundamentalist, her two upcoming credits on IMDB). His band's music did indeed have an Indian flare, and at various times reminded me of The Beatles, Phish and Donovan -- all bands I really like.

I'm glad I was genuinely grooving on the music, because otherwise the wait for Dewey Cox to come on stage might have been interminable. I could only imagine the frustration of those who didn't dig it, as the opener actually went on a ten-minute break before resuming, and the clock sailed past 10:30 and toward 11. I came to realize that Andrews was more properly the headliner, and Cox -- the star attraction -- was actually more of a guest doing a mini set. We'd already gotten to that point where each song figured to be the last one, when Andrews finally revealed that they still had three more songs. At least then we knew how soon Reilly would take the stage. And to reassure me that there was no great misunderstanding about what the evening had in store, at least I'd already seen him twice -- once to come out to the bar to get a quick drink (or maybe just make an inquiry of the bartender), and once when I went to the bathroom and saw him strumming his guitar around a certain corner. It was funny how open the venue's back was, how I basically could have just intruded right in on Reilly gathering his thoughts as he reviewed his upcoming songs. I was reminded of the fact that one of the things about the character is that he thinks about his whole life before he goes on stage, so in a way, you could say that's what Reilly was doing as he prepared.

Andrews didn't actually leave the stage at around 11:10 when it was finally Cox's turn -- to our surprise, Andrews' band was Dewey's band, at least for the purposes of this show. Changing the nature of their sound considerably, they welcomed Cox on stage with a roar from the crowd.

I'd wondered what incarnation of Cox from the movie we'd see. Probably not this one ...


... but I considered this one a real possibility:


Of course, the actual incarnation he chose made a lot more sense. If we were to believe that Cox was a real person -- the back story that was teased was that he had faked his own death and had instead been living by the Salton Sea for seven years, a fate worse than death for anyone who's been there -- then he would most certainly appear as the Fat Elvis version of Cox:


And in fact, this was the exact outfit he was wearing. On my two-year-old Blackberry 8530 with its shitty camera, this is how he looked last night:


Yes, that's really the best picture I have.

I'm glad to say that the man really committed. He danced around. He grooved. He sung his heart out. Yeah, he had to rely on a discreet little teleprompter at the front of the stage from time to time, but Reilly is a professional -- he never let it affect his stage presence. And he'd semi-memorized enough of his songs that only for one or two of them was he beholden to this crutch. Even the word "beholden" is unkind, because he never stumbled, never missed a word, and emoted exactly as the songs demanded.

I found myself wishing that I'd brushed up on the movie -- which I'd only seen once, despite my fervent desire for a second viewing -- but then again, how could I have? There was no way to know it would be necessary. Which meant I didn't have the kind of familiarity with the songs that a recent viewing would have given me.

But I was glad to see my recollections come rushing back. He played the title track as his second number, and in another song or two was on to "Let's Duet," the memorably raunchy-sounding love song that constantly reveals itself to be less raunchy than it originally appears. (Sample lyric: "In my dreams you're blowing me ... some kisses.")

Now, a side narrative that had been occupying me was whether we were going to get a guest appearance from any of the movie's other stars. If this were a road show -- which I seriously doubt it will become -- there would be little chance that anyone else would devote it the time or the energy other than Reilly himself (and his band, of course). But here in Los Angeles, it's easy to imagine someone popping over on a lark, since they live here anyway.

The someone we might be likely to see was Jenna Fischer, aka Pam from The Office. If you're considering Walk Hard to be a straight parody of Walk the Line, Fischer played June Carter Cash (Reese Witherspoon) to Reilly's Johnny Cash (Joaquin Phoenix). "Let's Duet" was ostensibly sung by Fischer in the movie, so it was certainly conceivable that she'd make a cameo here. And since I've always loved Fischer, I was seriously hoping for it. In fact, early on in Andrews' set, I thought I'd seen her pass me in the crowd. I engineered a fake trip to the bathroom to confirm it, but it wasn't her.

And she didn't take the stage either. Instead, a woman named Angela Correa took the stage. There was a reason I said that Fischer had "ostensibly" sung the song -- it was because this woman Angela Correa had actually provided the vocals. Predictably, she knocked it out of the park here.

This incident illustrated one of the ways the evening verged on breaking down the wall between the character and reality. In order to explain why it was Correa on stage rather than "Darlene" (Fischer's character, who would be an ex-wife to Cox at this point), Cox told us that Darlene was tone deaf and that Correa had to stand off stage and sing any time she performed. So that was a plausible cover.

Reilly did refer to the film on a couple occasions -- "You don't know how it feels when your life story is a bomb" he said, paraphrasing -- but it was as though the film existed as a documentary of his life, not a fiction film. Another good cover there. At one point he actually asked the audience if anyone present had not seen the movie, and a man in the front row copped to it. He brought him up on stage and handed him a copy of the DVD, saying it's now available for "only $20." It was part of a running gag that Cox's reappearance on stage was motivated by a desperate need for money. In a great bit of theater, he actually extracted a twenty dollar bill from the guy, and as far as I can tell never gave it back to him. Damn, I would have paid that twenty bucks.

The comedic highlight was his encore, which he performed after running through the crowd, over the bar, around back and back on stage again, in another great bit of theater. (In fact, he jostled the table next to us as he went by, knocking a glass beer bottle to the ground and spilling beer on my friend.) This was the third song I was sure I recognized: "(Have You Heard the News) Dewey Cox Died." The three of us guys (the woman had mysteriously disappeared by this point) in my group laughed hysterically throughout this number, which is an impassioned imagination by the singer of the popular reaction to his death. Rarely has death been so funny.

After this encore, Cox/Reilly concluded what had been about a 30-minute set and left the stage for good this time. While that's brief by the standards of most musical acts, it's a rather impressive length for an out-of-shape 47-year-old actor who does not do this kind of thing for a living, and has not (to my knowledge) inhabited this character either on camera or off in about five years. During the final roar of applause and cheering, I felt dizzy with enjoyment.

As it turned out, we lingered for a lot longer afterward than I had expected to linger, especially given that I needed to be at work by 7 a.m. this morning. This was due in part to the fact that I recognized another person in the crowd, a friend of mine who I only see every couple years, but who plays a significant role in my marriage. You see, this guy -- an actor working in obscurity, but regularly enough to pay the bills -- appeared as Bob Crachett in the performance of A Christmas Carol where I met my wife. If this guy hadn't been in it, our mutual friend wouldn't have invited my wife and me (among others) to see it, and I never would have met her. So I'm quite fond of this guy, even though I see him rarely.

Anyway, talking with him and his girlfriend, and introducing them to my group, led to the aforementioned extended lingering. As various people in our extended group peeled off to use the bathroom, it prolonged the whole post-mortem socializing out of a polite deference to waiting for the most recently departed person to return before saying goodbye. The conversation flowed easily enough, but I was conscious of the fact that it was now after midnight.

But what lingering allowed me to do was go up to Reilly afterward and congratulate him on a great show. As the crowd thinned out, he appeared out in the area where we had all stood for the past three hours watching the show, and mingled with members of the band. No longer dressed as Dewey, he wore jeans, a light blue shirt and a hat that can best be described (by someone with my limited understanding of the different species of hat) as a tan-colored bowler. Given the intimacy of this show and the fact that he was essentially making himself available to the public, I felt no qualms about going up to him.

I tapped him on the shoulder and offered him my hand. I said "I just wanted to tell you that you did a great job, that was awesome." Or something similarly innocuous but not inane. Having a couple beers allowed me to sound less inane than I sometimes do in these situations.

To use an Australian term favored by my wife, he seemed really chuffed. "Oh, thanks a lot," he said. "I really appreciate it. Thanks so much for coming out." In fact, his words trailed behind me as I was walking away, almost as though he would have talked about it more if I'd wanted.

The best thing is something I haven't even told you about. Do you know how much this whole thing cost?

Ten bucks. Or, $13 with the convenience fee.

Here's hoping that $13 goes straight into Dewey's pocket, so maybe he can finally move out of that shitty mobile home on the edge of the Salton Sea. 

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

50 Years of 007 - Licence to Kill


Cody watches as James Bond's Licence to Kill is revoked.



The Living Daylights had established Timothy Dalton as a more serious and edgier James Bond, his interpretation of the character closer to Ian Fleming's literary version than had been seen in the film series for some time. For his second turn in the role, Eon Productions were determined to continue further down that path. The screenplay for TLD had been finished before Dalton had signed on, but the script for his next film would be written with his Bond and a darker, more "real world" approach in mind. It was the '80s, cocaine and heroin trafficking was a booming, deadly business that was all over the news and the subject matter of many movies, this was the decade of Scarface. A real world approach meant dealing with real world problems, so the idea that producer/writer Michael G. Wilson and screenwriter Richard Maibaum had for Dalton's second Bond was to pit him against a dangerous drug lord.

Their story was largely original, but drew inspiration from several Fleming sources - a passage from Goldfinger, characters from the short story The Hildebrand Rarity, sections of the novel Live and Let Die that hadn't been included in the film, which was also an influence, as were Akiro Kurosawa's Yojimbo and its remake, Sergio Leone's A Fistful of Dollars.

The drug lord's country of origin changed during development. Initially, there was talk of the movie filming in China. Treatments were written where the villain was based out of the Golden Triangle, an area in Southeast Asia covering the mountains of Burma, Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand. The Golden Triangle was the number one source for the world's heroin until being passed by Pakistan/Afghanistan's Golden Crescent area. (Which the series had dealt with in TLD, as Bond had found himself in the middle of an opium deal in Afghanistan.) China-based action scenes were thought up; a fight amongst the Terracotta Army funerary statues that had been unearthed in the mid-'70s, a motorcycle chase along the Great Wall.

The plans to film in China eventually fell through due to creative issues and the fact that Steven Spielberg's The Last Emperor had just recently filmed there and already shown off some of the impressive locations. The China ideas were shelved, although potential action sequences are never forgotten at Eon. There was talk during the pre-production of this year's Bond film Skyfall that the Great Wall motorcycle chase might be included in it. Some of Skyfall was filmed in China and there does appear to be something of a motorcycle chase, but the two do not go together, Skyfall's chase was filmed in Turkey. The Great Wall chase continues to wait for its day to be filmed.

Eon Productions ran into tax issues in the UK, as they had during the making of Moonraker, so like that movie the production of the sixteenth Bond film would be based out of a different country. The honor ultimately went to Estudios Churubusco in Mexico City.

Wilson and Maibaum reworked their idea for a South American setting, but rather than basing the story in a real location, a fictional one was created. Mexico City would be standing in for a place called Isthmus City, in the country of Isthmus. In the midst of Wilson and Maibaum's collaboration on their fifth Bond script together, the Writers Guild of America went on strike. As a guild member, Maibaum had to stop working on the script, leaving Wilson to handle all subsequent writing himself. Despite the troubles, I think the screenplay turned out just fine.


Drug lord Franz Sanchez is an issue from the opening moment of the film, as AWACS radar catches his private plane making a mid-course deviation out of Cuban air space, heading in for a landing in the Bahamas. Michael G. Wilson makes a voice cameo as a character noting that the plane will land on the Cray Key island and Key West Drug Enforcement should be alerted that Sanchez is nearby, it's a chance for them to "grab the bastard."

Living in Key West, Florida is James Bond's old pal, CIA agent Felix Leiter. Leiter has been investigating Sanchez for some time, but this opportunity to take him into custody couldn't come at a more inconvenient time - it's Leiter's wedding day.

For the first time, an actor reprises the role of Felix Leiter. Although Dalton had worked with John Terry (of the beloved around this blog TV show Lost) as Leiter in his previous movie, Terry is not the returning actor. Instead, this time Dalton is paired with Roger Moore's Felix Leiter, David Hedison from Live and Let Die. While it's a bit odd that they went back to the Leiter of sixteen years earlier, an actor who is almost twenty years older than Dalton, it's also kind of fitting, given the ties that Licence to Kill has to LALD.

Leiter is riding to the church in the back of a Rolls-Royce Phantom V, accompanied by his friends Sharky and James Bond (who is his best man), when a Coast Guard helicopter catches his attention. In the helicopter are DEA agents, who have come to bring Leiter with them to catch Sanchez. Bond talks his way into riding along, agreeing that he'll be there strictly as an observer. As Leiter and Bond fly off with the DEA in the Coast Guard helicopter, an unhappy Sharky is left behind with the Rolls-Royce and the responsibility of delaying the wedding long enough for his friends to get back.

Sanchez is taking the risk of going to the Bahamas because his mistress, Talisa Soto as Lupe Lamora, has run off with a lover. In a very disturbing scene for a Bond film, Sanchez and a couple henchmen find Lupe in bed with the guy she's cheating with. After asking Lupe, "What did he promise you? His heart?", Sanchez orders his henchman Dario, who keeps a spring-loaded knife in the sleeve of his jacket, to "Give her his heart." The man is dragged out of the room, and as the screaming fellow has his heart cut out of his chest offscreen, Sanchez proceeds to punish Lupe with the same method the abusive character Milton Krest uses to beat his wife in the short story The Hildebrand Rarity - he whips her back with a severed stingray tail.


Leiter, Bond, and the DEA are waiting at the Cray Key airstrip when Sanchez returns, and as chases and gunfire break out, of course Bond does more than just observe, he puts himself right in the middle of the action.

Sanchez manages to take off in a little puddle jumper plane and in some movies that would be the end of it, the hero would have lost the villain. But not Bond. He piles everyone back into the Coast Guard chopper and has it give chase. The helicopter catches up with the plane, keeping pace with it, flying slightly above it. Bond "goes fishing" by hooking himself to the rescue cable hook and being lowered down onto the back of the plane. Doubling Dalton during this aerial stunt is Jake Lombard, who also doubled Roger Moore a few times during his run. Licence to Kill is Lombard's fifth and final time working on a Bond movie. This was also the fifth Bond film for aerial stunt coordinator BJ Worth.


Once Bond is riding on the outside of the plane, he unhooks himself and wraps the line around the tail of the plane. The helicopter now tows the dangling plane through the air. Franz Sanchez has been captured. Coincidentally, the roping of Sanchez's plane happens right above the church where Leiter is set to get married. Bond and Leiter parachute down to the church, where the wedding commences, just a little behind schedule.

The Maurice Binder-designed title sequence follows. LTK features the last work in the series by Binder, who had designed the title sequences for all of the previous Bond films except for From Russia with Love and Goldfinger. Unfortunately, he passed away in 1991.

Accompanying Binder's work is the title song, the music inspired by the horn line in the Goldfinger title song and the lyrics sung by Gladys Knight. The music is good, Knight has a great voice, but the title doesn't quite mix with the love song style lyrics. It comes off like a song from a homicidal stalker, "I've got a licence to kill anyone who tries to tear us apart."

In many Bond films, the capture of Sanchez in the pre-title sequence would've been the last we'd see of the character. The pre-titles are often a standalone adventure, then the main story begins after the titles. That's not the case here, as the film goes right back to Sanchez when the titles end.

Sanchez is sitting in a chair in an interrogation room as DEA agents Hawkins and Ed Killifer pace around him. This scene is a reunion of actors who had been in Die Hard together two years earlier - Sanchez is played by Robert Davi, best known for his roles in The Goonies, the Maniac Cop sequels, and as FBI agent Johnson in Die Hard. Johnson was paired with a younger agent also named Johnson, who was played by Grand L. Bush. Here, Bush plays Hawkins, so Davi and Bush once again share the screen. As Killifer is Everett McGill, from the beloved around this blog TV show Twin Peaks. Two years after this, McGill would be running around a house in a leather bondage suit, blasting away with a shotgun in Wes Craven's The People Under the Stairs.

According to Killifer, Sanchez is facing one hundred and thirty-nine felony counts, which could earn him a sentence of nine hundred and thirty-six years in prison. Sanchez has gotten out of trouble before by offering million dollar bribes, but Killifer tells him that one of those isn't going to work this time. So Sanchez ups the offer: two million dollars to anyone who springs him.

Meanwhile, Leiter has made Della Churchill his beautiful bride. Della is played by Priscilla Barnes, of the beloved around this blog TV show Three's Company. Of all the blonde roommates that Jack Tripper had, Barnes' Terri was my favorite.

Leiter is still dealing with Sanchez issues instead of hanging out with his new wife, Bond has to retrieve him from his study when it's time to cut the cake. As Bond enters, a lovely young woman named Pam Bouvier and played by Carey Lowell exits. Leiter assures Bond that Pam is only there for business reasons, then saves his report on Sanchez from his computer to a disc that he hides in the frame of a picture of Della. As Bond waits on Leiter, some more exposition on Sanchez is delivered - the flight to Cray Key was the first time that the drug lord has been away from his home base in years. He couldn't be extradited because he has killed, intimidated or bribed half of the officials from Florida to Chile. The only law south of Key West is Sanchez's law.

After making a brief appearance at the Leiters' reception, Killifer returns to the Coast Guard station where Sanchez is being held, just in time to ride along on Sanchez's transfer to Quantico. A cuffed Sanchez rides in the back of a truck with a couple guards, Killifer rides up front with the driver. As the truck goes over a long bridge, Sanchez bashes the driver with his gun and causes the truck to crash through the guardrail, into the ocean. The truck sinks to the bottom of the sea, where Sanchez and Killifer are retrieved by men in SCUBA gear.


By the time Bond leaves the home of Felix and Della Leiter that night, he has received two gifts from the couple. First, they give him a cigarette lighter with a very powerful flame and an inscription on the side: "James, Love Always, Della and Felix."


The second gift Bond is less happy with - Della playfully tosses her garter to him, reminding him that the man who catches it will supposedly be the next among their friends/family to get married. This brings the mood down, Bond is obviously troubled by the thought. As Bond drives away, Felix tells Della that Bond "was married once, but it was a long time ago." It's a nice little callback to On Her Majesty's Secret Service, appealing to a fan's knowledge of the series without going into specifics. It's especially nice that OHMSS is acknowledged in this film, since its release in 1989 marked the twentieth anniversary of George Lazenby's one and only Bond film.

The mood is brought down even further when Felix and Della go back inside their home. Sanchez's men are waiting for them.

We earlier saw Sanchez beat his woman in the same manner as the literary character Milton Krest, and now we find that a character named Milton Krest is one of his lackeys. Krest runs a marine research company called WaveKrest and owns a waterfront warehouse where he works on genetically engineering aquatic animals. WaveKrest is also, secretly and primarily, a cover for Sanchez's drug smuggling operations.

Sanchez waits in the warehouse while Krest prepares his escape from Florida - one of Krest's research submarines will take Sanchez out to its twelve mile limit, then he'll be picked up on a fast boat to Cuba. Before he departs, Sanchez makes sure that Killifer gets the two million dollars he was promised, despite Krest's feeling that having a cop around is too dangerous and they should just "deep six him". But Sanchez made a deal with him, and he's a man of his word. "Loyalty is more important to me than money."

Sanchez is also waiting for Dario and the others to bring a bound and blindfolded Felix Leiter to the warehouse. When his blindfold is removed and he sees Sanchez, Leiter's first question is, "Where's my wife?"

Sanchez's right hand man Dario is played by Benicio Del Toro, at the time only twenty-one years old and just starting out in film. It was a promising early step in what has gone on to be a very successful career, and Del Toro makes an impression in the role, especially with the memorably unique delivery of his reply to Leiter, "Don't worry. We gave her a nice honeymoon."

David Hedison played Felix Leiter in the cinematic adaptation of Live and Let Die, in which Yaphet Kotto played his role of heroin dealer Kananga as the stylish and sophisticated villainous reflection of James Bond. Here, Robert Davi is also playing Franz Sanchez as the stylish and sophisticated anti-Bond. The film LALD departed from its literary source material about halfway through; while book Bond went to Florida, film Bond went to Jamaica. An unused element from the novel showed up years later in the film For Your Eyes Only, the keel haul torture sequence, which had also been written into early drafts of the Moonraker script. Now, in the Florida setting of LTK, another unused section of Live and Let Die is adapted to the screen, and David Hedison gets to act out an event he would have sixteen years earlier if the LALD film had remained faithful to the novel. Leiter seems to be an avid fisherman in his private life, he's friends with Sharky, who runs a fishing boat charter service, and Bond gave him fishing lures as a wedding gift. Now he's the bait. As in Fleming's prose, Felix Leiter is dropped through a trap door in a warehouse floor and fed to a shark.

There is enough original material in Licence to Kill that a novelization of the screenplay was written by Bond continuation novel author John Gardner. The LTK novelization was the ninth of the sixteen Bond novels Gardner wrote between 1981 and 1996, and strangely, the novelization is in literary continuity with Fleming's books. The events of the Live and Let Die novel have already happened, so the Felix Leiter of the books is so unlucky that LTK finds him being fed to a shark for a second time in his life.

Bond is about to catch a flight out of Key West when he hears about Sanchez's escape from custody. He rushes over to Leiter's house. He first finds Della, lying dead on the bed, still wearing her wedding dress. Reminiscent of the death of his wife Tracy directly after their wedding.


Bond then goes to Leiter's ransacked study where, straight out of Fleming, he finds his friend's shark-mauled body on a couch. The villains have left a note with the body: He disagreed with something that ate him.

Leiter is still alive, but has lost his left leg below the knee and his left arm is in jeopardy. As Leiter lies unconscious in a hospital bed, Bond confers with Sharky and Hawkins. Despite a jackass detective's belief that Leiter was probably wounded with a chainsaw ("Colombians use them on informers", there are more chainsaws sold in Florida than in Oregon), Sharky knows a shark bite when he sees one. Hawkins is upset about Leiter and the fact that Sanchez has disappeared with his files, but tells Bond that there's nothing they can do about it. Sanchez is out of their jurisdiction now, they can't get an extradition, there are plenty of countries that will protect him. "Let it go, Commander."

Bond doesn't let it go. The shark bites are a lead. Bond and Sharky search the Keys for someone who might have a shark in captivity. The search leads them to Krest's warehouse, where Bond talks his way into the building with his cover as an employee of Universal Exports, saying he's been hired by the Regent's Park Zoo to arrange the shipment of a Great White. Might Krest have one available? Krest denies having any sharks, he sold out of them years ago. He's not in the business of selling aquatic animals anymore, now WaveKrest is completely focused on research for a project to feed the Third World. Something to do with manipulating hormones to make male fish, which gain weight faster on their diet of maggots. With Krest claiming to be out of the shark business, Bond questions the presence of a Shark Hunter II submarine in the warehouse. Krest says it's for sale. The submarine isn't nearly as suspicious as a boutonniere from Leiter's suit being among some swept up trash on the floor. Krest asks Bond to leave as soon as he makes the sighting, and Bond politely complies.

Sneaking around the warehouse that night, aided by Sharky, Bond confirms that there is a shark swimming around in a pen beneath the place. Entering the building, Bond has confrontations with a couple security guards in an adaptation of a sequence from the Live and Let Die novel in which Bond is shot at in Mr. Big's "worm and bait" warehouse by a henchman called The Robber. The Robber got dropped down the trap door in the floor and fed to the same shark that mauled Leiter, here one security guard ends up stuck in a drawer full of maggots (and packs of cocaine) and the other knocked into the electric eel tank. Then, Bond is caught by Killifer, who is still waiting to catch a sub ride out of the country. Killifer tries to maneuver Bond into the trap door, but the lucky timing of Sharky's arrival in the building leads to Killifer being the one who falls through the trap. Killifer catches onto a rope hanging over the shark tank and offers to split his suitcase full of cash with Bond. Bond picks up the suitcase... and tosses it to Killifer. Killifer meets the same fate as The Robber, and the two million dollars he earned from Sanchez goes into the water with him.

The next day, Hawkins catches up with Bond to tell him that the local cops got a tip about a certain warehouse where drugs, bodies, and the remains of Ed Killifer were found. The DEA wants to know what's happening and Hawkins can only cover up so much for Bond. He warns, "This is where it ends, Commander."

Hawkins isn't the only one who wants Bond to pack it up. MI6 agents usher him into a meeting with M on a balcony at the Hemingway House, where his boss chews him out for skipping his flight to Istanbul, where he's supposed to be on an assignment. He has a job to do and he needs to leave this Leiter/Sanchez situation to the Americans. Bond says he owes this to Leiter, M calls that idea "sentimental rubbish". Bond's private vendetta could compromise Her Majesty's government. He needs to be objective and professional and get back to work. Bond refuses to drop his personal mission and offers his resignation from the Secret Service. M accepts it. "Effective immediately, your licence to kill is revoked."

Licence to Kill is the first Eon Bond film that doesn't share the title of an Ian Fleming novel or short story. Its working title was Licence Revoked, but it was eventually decided that Licence to Kill was a stronger option, as a revoked license could just be a driver's license. Some fans would've preferred if the title had remained Licence Revoked, but I think the change was a good decision.

M demands that Bond hand over his weapon, but Bond keeps his Walther, smacks M's guards around, jumps over the balcony railing and escapes from the Hemingway House property. An MI6 agent attempts to shoot Bond as he runs away, but M stops him. As the now ex-007 disappears from sight, M says, "God help you, Commander."

The next step on Bond's road to revenge is the WaveKrest "research vessel", on which Milton Krest is taking Lupe part of the way toward being reunited with Sanchez. Sanchez warned Krest not to mess with his girl during their trip together and Krest knows what happened to her lover, so he should be smart enough not to. But when the loss of his warehouse drives him to drink, Krest goes to Lupe's cabin and acts drunk and creepy. He's saved from making a bad mistake when one of his men shows up at the door to notify him that the ship's probe vessel has spotted "something large" in the water.

That something large is Bond, in SCUBA gear and swimming beneath a glider covered with fabric cut in a way that makes him appear to be a manta ray when shown from above on the WaveKrest's monitors. A bit more sensible than a seagull hat. He follows the probe under the ship and up into its moon pool, where he surfaces alongside the vessel and infiltrates the WaveKrest. He incapacitates a guard and sneaks his way up to Krest's cabin... where he finds Lupe in the bed. Krest is letting her use the main cabin on this trip.


Bond and Lupe recognize each other from the Cray Key airstrip, he knows that she's Sanchez's girlfriend and tries to get information on his whereabouts, but Lupe is clueless, she doesn't know where she's being taken. Bond's presence on-board has been noticed, and when Krest checks the cabin to see if Lupe has seen anything, Bond hides behind the door and holds his knife to the back of her head to make sure she doesn't give him away. After Krest leaves, Bond does show some compassion for her when he notices the wounds that the whipping from Sanchez left on her back.

What was one character named Quarrel in the Fleming novels became three different characters in the film series. Bond first met the man, who chartered fishing boats, in the pages of Live and Let Die, and would use his services again in the pages of Dr. No. Quarrel didn't survive his second adventure with Bond. Dr. No became a film first and Quarrel's death scene was kept intact, so when it came time for the adaptation of Live and Let Die, a second character stood in for him - his son, Quarrel Jr. With Licence to Kill partially being another adaptation of LALD, there is another Quarrel stand-in in the form of Sharky, played by former NFL player turned character actor with a very recognizable voice Frank McRae. Quarrel, Quarrel Jr., and Sharky. Only one of these characters makes it all the way through the movie they're featured in, and it's not Sharky.

A group of Krest's men, led by a guy named Clive, find Sharky while he waits for Bond on a boat nearby, kill him and haul his corpse back to the WaveKrest. This turn of events pisses Bond off even more. Bond tells Lupe that she better find herself a new lover, exits the cabin, walks out on the deck of the WaveKrest, grabs a speargun and fires it into Clive's chest. "Compliments of Sharky."

Clive's SCUBA-wearing body tumbles off the ship, drawing attention to Bond as he follows the corpse into the sea. Armed guards watch the surface, divers jump in the water. Bond steals Clive's oxygen tank and swims off. The probe vessel exits the moon pool, but it's not out to look for Bond. A seaplane lands to make a trade with the probe: packs of cocaine for packs of money. After the exchange is made, Bond really makes a pest of himself. He swims after the probe underwater, opens its cargo panel and starts tearing open the packs of cocaine with his knife.

A group of SCUBA divers attack Bond and during the ensuing fight he manages to get ahold of another speargun. Looking up, he sees the pontoons of the seaplane travel overhead as it prepares to take off. He fires his spear into one of the pontoons and it pulls him up to the surface like he's water skiing. He manages to board the plane and toss out its pilot and passenger, commandeering the vehicle in mid-air and giving Jake Lombard and BJ Worth some more aerial stuntwork to pull off. Bond flies off with a whole lot of Sanchez's money.

Bond returns to Leiter's home, where he gets the disc Leiter saved the Sanchez report to out of the Della picture frame and uses the computer to check it out. He finds that on a list of nine informants, only one of them is still alive. Pam Bouvier. A CIA contract pilot, familiar with Sanchez's operation in Isthmus City. Leiter recommended that she should be given maximum support and protection, and he was scheduled to meet with her again on Thursday, after midnight. What a coincidence, this is Thursday night.


Bond goes to the Bimini Barrelhead Bar, the dirty dive joint where Leiter was supposed to meet with Pam. He finds her sitting alone at a table and warns her that Sanchez has Leiter's files, her life is in danger. Pam was prepared for trouble and scoffs at Bond's Walther, she's got a shotgun under the table for protection. She'll need it. Now that someone has kept Leiter's meeting, the place starts filling with Sanchez's goons, led by Dario. When she spots Dario, Pam becomes the second person in the series, following little old Mrs. Bell in Live and Let Die, to drop the "Shit" bomb. Dario recognizes Pam, she used to fly charter planes for "friends" of his. He says he has a job for her and asks her to step outside...

Bond and Pam don't even get to drink the Budweisers with lime that they ordered before their disagreement with Dario and his cohorts breaks out into a bar fight as the song "Dirty Love" by Tim Feehan fills the soundtrack. The shotgun gets fired a couple times, Bond punches the recognizable face of a baddie played by Branscombe Richmond, a henchman grabs a mounted swordfish off the wall and attempts to impale Bond with its nose, and after the swordfish threat is dealt with, Dalton again proves that he's not the best at delivering quips when he says, "Touché."

Dario shoots Pam in the back as she and Bond make their escape from the waterfront bar in his speedboat, but she was so prepared for trouble that she even has on a kevlar vest. Bond and Pam bicker over who saved whose life and who is more professional. Pam will not be lectured about professionalism, she was an Army pilot who has flown to the toughest hellholes. Bond has no time for this argument, he needs Pam to give him the rundown on Sanchez's operation and get him a private flight to Isthmus City. Pam says he's crazy to take on Sanchez, the man has a whole army protecting him. Bond tells her all she has to do is fly him in and leave, and while they haggle over the price they make a jarring switch to wanting to jump each other's bones. After making a $75,000 deal, Bond and Pam have sex on the floor of the drifting speedboat.

Back in England, M's secretary Miss Moneypenny gets her one and only scene in this movie. She's so worried about Bond that her work is suffering, her paperwork is filled with typos and she's ordering unauthorized reports in an attempt to keep track of the former 007. M tells her there's no need to search for Bond, his destination is obvious: he's tracking Sanchez to Isthmus, and he has to be stopped. Their man in Isthmus has already been alerted to watch for him. As soon as M leaves her office, Moneypenny makes a call to Q Branch.


Sanchez lives large in Isthmus City. He owns the city's biggest bank and a casino, in addition to operating the world's largest private investment fund. The fund has a cash surplus of $10 million a day, which is shipped through the Banco de Isthmus to the U.S. Federal Reserve, establishing credits which can be used for any legitimate investment. Drug deals are made through the television show of Professor Joe Butcher, televangelist, author of the new agey book The Secrets of Cone Power Revealed, and a role that allows Wayne Newton to ham it up a bit. Monthly prices for kilos are figured by Sanchez's accountant Truman-Lodge, who calls into Butcher's studio and names the price. On air, Butcher then states that the day's goal is to raise that amount from each "meditation chapter". The show is broadcast live from the Olimpatec Meditation Institute in Isthmus to an international audience, and when viewers call in to 555-LOVE to make their donations, some of the donations are actually drug orders. For example, when the "Manhattan chapel" calls in with a $500 pledge, it's actually an order for 500 kilos.

Bond arrives in town playing the part of a high-roller with money to burn. He checks into an extravagant hotel suite that he tells the bellhop is "adequate", passes off Pam as his executive secretary, and sets up an account at Sanchez's bank with a deposit of $4.9 million. The money from the seaplane.

Pam's job is finished now that she's gotten Bond into Isthmus, but she decides that she should stay and continue to help him. Wherever she is, she won't be safe until Sanchez is dead. If she's going to play the executive secretary role, she'll need to look the part. Bond gives her some cash to buy "some decent clothes". When he next sees her, he's clearly awed by her stylish transformation.

Bond and Pam go to the casino that night, where Bond proceeds to make a spectacle of himself with big bets and a request of no limit at a private Blackjack table. When Bond is a quarter of a million ahead, a call is made to Sanchez, who is in his office upstairs, watching Butcher's show with head of security Colonel Heller, Truman-Lodge, and his diamond-collared iguana. Rather than close down the table, Sanchez sends in his cooler: Lupe, who has also arrived in town today and denied any knowledge of Krest's report that he was ripped off. She didn't see anything strange on the WaveKrest, she just stayed in her cabin.

When Lupe takes over as dealer at the Blackjack table, Bond sends Pam off on an errand: "Get me a medium-dry vodka martini. Shaken, not stirred." While she makes sure Bond loses some money, Lupe warns him that he should just leave Isthmus. Bond has a different idea. He wants her to take him to Sanchez's office. She thinks he's loco, but she takes him.


Pam has made sure that Bond's drink was made properly, but she's left to watch Bond and Lupe walk out of the gaming room together. She downs the martini with a grimace.

In Sanchez's office, his bodyguards find that Bond is armed. Bond explains that in his business, you prepare for the unexpected by being armed. He helps people with problems, "a problem eliminator". Temporarily unemployed and looking for work. He basically turns his introduction to Sanchez into a job interview while casing the office. Sanchez says they'll talk again in a few days, but in the meantime he won't need a gun. He keeps Bond's weapon.

Returning to their hotel suite, Bond and Pam are notified that Bond's "uncle" has arrived. This unnerves them, but when Bond bursts into the room with a backup gun provided by Pam, he finds that this mysterious "uncle" is actually Q. He's on leave and he and Moneypenny have decided that Bond needs his help. Help that Bond doesn't want, but Q insists on giving. "If it hadn't been for Q Branch, you'd have been dead long ago."


Q has brought along a case full of gadgets, including an exploding alarm clock, plastic explosive inside a toothpaste tube, a camera that takes X-ray pictures and fires a lazer beam when the flash is used, and a "signature gun" sniper rifle with an optical palm reader in the grip. When Bond holds the grip the palm reader scans his hand, Q types something into a device that connects to it and looks like a calculator, and now Bond is the only person who can use that gun, it won't fire if anyone else is holding it.

Q has given Bond just what he needs. While in Sanchez's office, Bond had noted that the glass in the window was armored, two inches thick. But now he can plant the plastic explosive along the frame, go across the street with his sniper rifle, detonate the explosive and shoot Sanchez when the glass blows. He may not get away safe, but at least he'll have his revenge.

There are a lot of meetings going on while Bond gets things set up. First, Sanchez and Truman-Lodge try to entice a group of potential new partners from China into making a five year deal that will spread Sanchez's drug empire to the Far East. Their talks will continue tomorrow, when Sanchez will give them a look at the main distribution center. Then, Isthmus President Hector Lopez stops by for this month's bribery money. Lopez is played by Pedro Armendariz Jr., son of the man who played Kerim Bey in From Russia with Love. Finally, Bond is shocked to spot through his rifle scope Pam having a meeting with Colonel Heller.


Bond blows Sanchez's window out, gets Sanchez in his sights, pulls the trigger... the shot goes wild as he's attacked from behind. By a ninja! Bond's assassination attempt ruined, he now finds himself in a tussle with two ninjas. Unfortunate for him, but surprise ninja attacks are always an awesome turn of events for viewers. One of the ninjas picks up the sniper rifle and tries to shoot him with it, but the palm reader does its job and the rifle won't fire. After the other ninja tosses a net over Bond, they do find that the rifle is effective in clubbing him unconscious.


Bond awakes on a table in a rundown house in the country, surrounded by the two ninjas, a man named Kwang, who is one of the Chinese men that Sanchez has been meeting with, and MI6 agent Fallon, the "man in Isthmus" that M spoke of. Kwang reveals his true reason for being in Isthmus to Bond, "We're Hong Kong Narcotics, you bastard!", and the way actor Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa delivers that line has made it a popular one for fans to quote and reference. Kwang has been working for years to get Sanchez to take them to the heart of his operations. Hopefully Bond hasn't screwed it up. Fallon has orders to send Bond straight back to London, but he doesn't get the chance.


Colonel Heller leads an Isthmus military squad in an attack on the house, first blasting the place with a tank before sending in foot-soldiers. The two ninjas and Fallon are killed, Kwang is wounded. Sanchez accompanies Heller into the house and attempts to interrogate Kwang, but Kwang has made sure that he can't be taken alive. The cyanide pill he popped takes effect before Sanchez can get any answers from him. An angry Sanchez fires a couple bullets into the man's corpse. Then Bond is found, again unconscious.

Bond doesn't wake again until the next morning, in a bed at Sanchez's amazing mansion, built on a location with an awe-inspiring view. When he next sees Sanchez, he's smiling and calling him "amigo". They sit down to have a talk over coffee, during which Sanchez asks Bond about the people who appeared to be torturing him, the people Sanchez believes took a shot at him. Bond tells him that it was a freelance hit team, hired and well briefed by someone who works for Sanchez, expecting a big payment for his assassination. They recognized Bond, as he recognized them, from his former job working for the British government.

Bond revealing that he used to be a British agent takes the edge off the information for when Heller attempts to reveal this fact to Sanchez after Bond leaves the room. The "hit team" lie and the report of theft from WaveKrest that Lupe didn't confirm has sown the seed for Sanchez to question the loyalty of Krest, who Bond has been told by Lupe will be arriving in Isthmus that night.

Bond sneaks away from Sanchez's place with the help of Lupe, then goes back to his hotel room to confront Pam about her meeting with Heller. She has not betrayed him, she's continuing Leiter's work. Sanchez is buying four Stinger missiles to threaten an American airliner with if the DEA doesn't back off from him, and Leiter has negotiated a deal granting Heller immunity if he removes the missiles from Sanchez's possession. Pam brought the deal to Heller and he accepted, but then backed out after Bond's failed assassination attempt.

Bond's vendetta is messing things up, but it's not over yet. Sanchez has tripled his security and Bond will never be able to get another shot at him, but he won't have to. He has a plan, and it starts with Krest and the withdrawal of all the money from his account at Banco de Isthmus. When Sanchez and his men go down to meet the WaveKrest at the harbor, Pam is there as well, and she gets on-board under the guise of a harbor pilot. She doesn't prove to be very good at that job, ramming the ship through a dock, but during the ensuing confusion she does manage to sneak down to the moon pool and let Bond in through it. Bond then goes to work placing the packs of money back into the decompression chamber it had been stored in before the seaplane exchange.


Finding the money that was supposedly stolen in some outlandish heist still on the ship does not make Sanchez happy. He now fully believes that Krest is a traitor, and he punishes his betrayal by throwing Krest into the chamber with the money, cranking the pressure inlet up to painful levels, then severing a vent line. The rapid decompression inside the chamber literally causes Krest's head to explode in the most disturbingly intense and violent moment of the series. The shot of Krest's expanding face may be slightly goofy, but that doesn't make it any less unnerving.

Now what to do with the gore-coated cash? "Launder it."

Returning home, Sanchez finds Bond in the room he's been set up in and gives him some money for a good tip. Bond acts surprised to hear that only one man had turned against Sanchez, he thought that "no one would be stupid enough to try to take you on on their own." Sanchez likes this guy. He invites Bond to come along with him to a surprise location the next day.

Sanchez goes out for dinner with the men from China, giving Lupe a chance to talk with Bond in private. Lupe is very scared about what Bond is doing and what her future may hold. The Sanchez situation is hopefully ending, but she doesn't want to go back to her home. She wants to go off with Bond. Bond knows that won't work, but spending some time in bed with her will work out very well. While the villain is away, the hero will play.

Pam and Q think Bond has already left the country, but as they're getting ready to leave the hotel the next day, Lupe shows up at the room to tell them that Bond is still around, leaving on a trip with Sanchez, and his life is in danger if anything goes wrong. Pam is upset by Lupe saying "I love James so much", leaving Q to try to convince her that she shouldn't judge Bond too harshly for using every means at his disposal to achieve his objectives.

Disguised as a landscaper, Q witnesses Bond leave Sanchez's mansion with a convoy and reports to Pam through a communication device hidden within a broom, which he then just tosses aside in the bushes and leaves. Q is always chiding Bond for mistreating his gadgets, but get him out in the field and he does the same thing.

Bond has been included in the Chinese partners' tour of Sanchez's main distribution center, which is located on the grounds of the Olimpatec Meditation Institute. They are shown how Sanchez smuggles cocaine into different countries, with China's first shipment now being prepared. Cocaine is run down a conveyor belt, through a grinder, and mixed into a vat of gasoline below, where it dissolves completely. The gasoline/cocaine mixture is then loaded into four tanker trucks. The trucks will drive down to the harbor and be loaded onto an ocean-going tanker to China. Once the delivery reaches its destination, it's a simple process for Sanchez's chief chemist to separate the cocaine from the gasoline. The Chinese can keep the gas as a bonus.

Bond runs into trouble during the tour: Dario has arrived with the Stinger missiles, and he recognizes Bond from the Bimini Barrelhead Bar. Dario sticks a gun in Bond's back, but with so many flammable materials around Bond is able to cause some major problems for the distribution center before being subdued and bound.

Early drafts of Tom Mankiewicz's screenplay for Live and Let Die featured a sequence where Bond is put in danger of being run through a factory coffee grinder. That sequence was written out when the filmmakers discovered the location of the alligator farm and decided to instead put Bond in danger from the creatures that lived there instead. The coffee grinder idea is sort of used here, except now Bond is put on the conveyor belt and sent toward the cocaine grinder.

As the Bond-caused fire blazes, Sanchez's employees, the Chinese men, and the tanker trucks all rush out of the place. While Bond slides down the conveyor belt, he continues trying to get Sanchez to doubt more of his men. If he couldn't trust Krest, who can he trust? Truman-Lodge will steal his money, Heller will steal the Stinger missiles. It's not enough to get Sanchez to spare his life. Sanchez leaves Dario to watch Bond meet his fate.


Of course, Bond's true fate is to get out of this situation safely, Dario is the one who ends up ground into a fine, red mist, as Pam shows up with a gun just in time. She followed Bond to the institute in a cropduster, the only plane she could get, and talked her way onto the grounds by playing the part of a naive girl from Wichita Falls, Texas, who came to deliver a donation to Professor Joe Butcher in person. The sleazy Butcher took Pam to his private meditation chamber/bedroom, where she pulled her gun on him and walked out.

As everyone rushes away from the fire, Truman-Lodge laments the loss of the set-up, which cost $32 million. Sanchez isn't worried, they have $500 million from the Chinese and 20 tons of Colombian pure in the tankers, which they're taking with them. But they have a deal with the Chinese for the contents of those tankers! Who's being disloyal now, Sanchez?

The vehicles racing away from the Meditation Institute have to take a long, winding road down a mountainside, and this is where the film's standout action sequence occurs as Bond completes his mission to ruin Sanchez's life. Mayhem, destruction, gunfire, dust dropping, Stinger missile fire, machete swinging, it all ensues as Bond commandeers one of the semi trucks, gradually causing all four of the tankers to go up in flames.


The truck chase isn't just my favorite part of this movie, it's one of my favorite action sequences in the entire series. I come from a family of truck drivers, I spent a lot of time in my youth around semi trucks, so to have 12 minutes of action that puts Bond and semi trucks together, that's very appealing to me. Bond drives truck more impressively than anyone I've ever seen, at one point tipping his truck, tanker trailer and all, over to drive on the wheels of one side to avoid a missile, and at another point even getting his Kenworth to do a wheelie.


The truck sequence is a factor in why Licence to Kill is one of my favorite Bond movies to watch, and I do so around the same time every year. Several years ago, I watched the movie in late June, on the last night of the festival that is held annually in my hometown's park. The festival comes to a close with a fireworks show, so that night I watched LTK and right after the movie ended, I was able to go outside and watch the fireworks. That started a yearly tradition. I watch LTK on the last night of the park festival and time my viewing so that I can step outside as the end credits roll and watch the fireworks show. I go straight from watching exploding semi trucks to watching explosions in the night sky.


While I quite enjoy it, Licence to Kill is a divisive entry in the series. Many viewers love it, but it doesn't have what others are looking for from a Bond movie. I can understand why some wouldn't like it, because it is a very different Bond film, especially for when it was released, still not far removed from the Roger Moore era. It's not very family friendly. At times it feels aggressively dark, and as noted, some of the acts of violence are even disturbing to me. The dark tone and violence caused LTK to be the first movie in the series to earn the PG-13 rating, although that rating also hadn't been around very long at that point.

Some fans celebrate how faithful it is in tone and style to Fleming, others feel it's trying too hard to fit in with the films and TV shows of its time, like Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Miami Vice, etc. Its musical score is even composed by Michael Kamen, who did the music for Die Hard and Lethal Weapon. The competition for the Bond series at the box office had become stronger than ever in the '80s and LTK may be a reaction to some of its action genre peers, as other entries in the series had been reactions to popular trends in cinema before, but how well Bond mixes with the realistic, serious world of a drug-based action movie depends on the viewer.

Myself, I think LTK is a great translation of the literary Bond to the screen and Timothy Dalton's interpretation of the character goes very well with this story and style. We could've gotten some great, down-to-earth spy thrillers out of a longer Dalton era.

Licence to Kill doesn't appear to have gotten a very enthusiastic reception at the time of its release. Looking over reviews, critics seem to have been tired of Bond in general, no matter who was playing him or what the tone was. The film did well worldwide, but the unexpected level of seriousness and the aforementioned competition may have played into why LTK did the least amount of business in the U.S. of any film in the series. It came out in the middle of the summer of Batman, Lethal Weapon 2, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and Back to the Future II, and the latest Bond was not as strong of a draw as any of those films.

The end credits roll as the song "If You Asked Me To", sung by Patti LaBelle, plays on the soundtrack, bringing a close to the last Bond movie for Arthur Wooster, who had directed second unit on every Bond film in the '80s, director of photography Alec Mills, whose association with the series went back to working as a camera operator on On Her Majesty's Secret Service, and editor John Grover, who had been around the editing room since The Spy Who Loved Me.

LTK was the last Bond film to be directed by John Glen, director of every '80s Bond, and with it he achieved the record of having directed the most entries in the series. A total of five, beating Guy Hamilton's four, and only three of Hamilton's were done in succession, Glen did all five of his in a row. Glen was the most prolific director within the series, but he wasn't the most impressive or stylish. His directors of photography provided some nice visuals here and there, but there are also moments in each of his films that look and feel strangely made-for-TV low budget. He's described as "a workman director"; he wasn't fancy, but he got the job done.

Most notably, this is the last Bond movie to star Timothy Dalton. He never really gained overwhelming acceptance in the role, and now his era would be cut short prematurely. Eon fully intended to produce a third Dalton Bond, plans were set in motion to keep up the traditional two year gap between entries and release the next movie in 1991, but the plans soon fell apart. Eon was about to enter a very dark, uncertain period, and there wouldn't be another Bond film for six years, by which time there would be a new actor playing James Bond.