Monday, 31 December 2012

Worth Mentioning in 2012


We watch several movies a week. Every Friday, we talk a little about some of the movies we watched that we felt were Worth Mentioning. Here is compiled a handy list of all the people, places and things that have been mentioned by Cody and Jay in the Worth Mentioning articles during the year 2012:


2012 was a hectic year that took a toll on Jay's free time and Cody's sanity, but we kept things rolling with


Cody - Red Eye (2005), Source Code (2011).

Cody - Last Night (1998), On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969).

Cody - Argo (2012).

Cody - Bloody Birthday (1981).

Cody - Breathless (1983).

Cody - Lincoln (2012).

Cody - Over the Top (1987).

Cody - Skyfall (2012).

Cody - Looper (2012), Dredd (2012).

Cody - Sinister (2012).

Cody - The Children (1980), Luther the Geek (1990).

Cody - Evil Toons (1992), Murder Loves Killers Too (2009).

Cody - My Little Eye (2002), Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985).

Cody - Wall Street (1987).

Cody - Good Dick (2008), Medicine for Melancholy (2008).

Cody - Tattoo, a Love Story (2002), Black Moon Rising (1986).

Cody - The Conversation (1974), Knight and Day (2010).

Cody - The Hire - Ambush, Chosen, The Follow, Star, Powder Keg, Hostage, Ticker, Beat the Devil (2001-2002), The Hire comic books.

Cody - Panic Room (2002), The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005), The Limey (1999).

Cody - Detour (1945), Hell on Wheels (2007).

Cody - The Bourne Identity (2002), The Bourne Supremacy (2004), The Bourne Ultimatum (2007), The Bourne Legacy (2012).

Put it in your eyes and it tells you lies
Cody - Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991), Gran Torino (2008).

Cody - Hitch-Hike (1977), Teenage Monster (1958), The Touch of Satan (1971).

Cody - Moonrise Kingdom (2012), Kevin Smith's live SModCo podcasts.

Cody - The Sleeper (2012), Girls Nite Out (1982).

Cody - Robot Ninja (1989).
Jay - Kitchen Nightmares (2004-)

Cody - Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012), Lady Terminator (1989).

Cody - Horror of Dracula (1958), The Brides of Dracula (1960), Dracula: Prince of Darkness (1966), Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968), Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970), Scars of Dracula (1970), Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972), The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973), The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974), Count Dracula (1970), One More Time (1970), Dracula and Son (1976).

Burn it up, let's go for broke
Cody - Woman of Straw (1964), Rock of Ages (2012).

Cody - Prometheus (2012), The Boys Next Door (1985).

Cody - Piranha 3-D (2010), Piranha 3-DD (2012).

Cody - Rolling Vengeance (1987).

Cody - Hulk Vs. (2009), Cage (1989), Cage II: The Arena of Death (1994).

Cody - Prom Night (1980), Foul Play (1978).

Cody - Hardbodies (1984), Popatopolis (2009), The Avengers (2012).

Cody - The Being (1983), Autopsy of the Dead (2009).
Jay - Film Snobbery interview, Sidewalk Scramble short Horrible Hearts.

Jay - We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011).
Cody - The Raid: Redemption (2011), Lockout (2012), Rampart (2011).

Cody - Day of the Reaper (1984), Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (1994).

Cody - American Reunion (2012).
Jay - Six O'Clock News (1996).
Cody - Class of 1999 (1990) in the 8 movie Horror Collection.

Cody - 21 Jump Street (2012).
Jay - Cold Weather (2010).

Cody - Leprechaun 2 (1994), Maniac Cop (1988), Malibu Express (1985).

Cody - The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966), Vernon, Florida (1981).

Cody - Humpday (2009), Summer Lovers (1982).
Jay - Deep Sea Detectives episode Pearl Harbor's Revenge (2004).

Cody - Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991), Gunslinger (1956), Invasion (2005).

Heroes, Jokers, Sinners & Tokers
Cody - Kevin Smith: Live from Behind (2012), Kevin Smith: Burn in Hell (2012), Comic Book Men (2012-), Impractical Jokers (2011-).
Jay - Film Courage article, filming The Nobodies.

In Memory of Bill Hinzman
Cody - The Majorettes (1987).

Cody - The Grey (2012), American Gladiators, Haywire (2011), The Descendants (2011), Hugo (2011).

Want to see some trouble?
Cody - Forbidden World, a.k.a. Mutant (1982), Dead Space (1991).
Jay - Prison Wives (TV show - 2009).

The Ayes Are Above the Noes
Cody - Young Adult (2011), The Best of Times (1986).

Cody - The Prowler (1981), Night of the Living Dead: Live from Wisconsin - Hosted by Mark & Mike (2006).
Jay - Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory (2011).

Cody - The Last Detail (1973), No Looking Back (1998).
Jay - Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005).

The Stone Tape (1972)

DECEMBER 30, 2012

GENRE: BRITISH, HAUNTED HOUSE
SOURCE: STREAMING (AMAZON ONDEMAND)

I did not know that I could watch Amazon OnDemand on my Xbox until today; I might have to look into their "Prime" service since it apparently comes with 11,000 free movies and I'm guessing a few of them could be HMAD titles. Similarly, I never heard of The Stone Tape until the other day, when I saw it written up in "Rue Morgue" and listed as an influence on Carpenter's Prince Of Darkness, a film I quite enjoy, as you know. Good to know that I can still learn stuff, I guess. I figured my brain was for shit at this point.

Anyway, being a 1970s television movie for the BBC, I wasn't expecting much action or a high body count from the flick, nor did I receive it. It's very talky; I'm not sure how commercials worked back then but if it aired today I don't even think they'd have a scare to show before each break, as they are rather infrequent (one of them is below, since I unsurprisingly couldn't find a trailer). Luckily they're pretty good, all things considered, and like Salem's Lot or (in my case) Don't Go To Sleep, probably warped a few young minds who tuned in and didn't know what they were in for. The final two scares in particular (one involving the film's only death, I think) are pretty bone-chilling, especially when you consider how chatty and generally pleasant the rest of the movie is.

I also enjoyed that Nigel Kneale's script didn't waste too much time on skepticism. Our heroine sees the ghost roughly 8 seconds after entering the room where its trapped, and when she tells the group they all go to check it out and hear/see it themselves as well, as opposed to the "There's nothing here!" nonsense that 99% of all haunting movies feel compelled to include. There's only one guy who doesn't hear it, and that actually has a fun idea behind it - one of the scientists suggests that a haunting works something like an allergy, where the element (dust, smoke, a cat, whatever) is there but will affect everyone differently. It's a pretty great idea, I think, though they don't dwell on it too much. The movie suffers from an overpopulation, so this "control" character who can't hear it like the others doesn't really factor into the proceedings all that much, as there are other scientists to deal with and fight for the remaining 45 minutes of screentime.

The dialogue can also be a bit rambunctious; at one point says that something "gets in the way, like all this jokey talk", and it was an incredibly apt thing to say as I had already noted that the group of scientists spend way too much time ball-busting one another. I actually had trouble following the reasons that they were setting up shop in this location, because when the main guy is explaining it, every other line of his speech is interrupted by some jovial ribbing, either directed at him or another guy in the room. Sure, it makes them more "fun", but with so many of them being rather anonymous in the grand scheme of things (a problem with Prince of Darkness as well, oddly enough), I'm not sure it was worth the distraction.

But again, I'm not familiar with BBC television movies (or plays, I guess - sorry if anyone is against my counting this as a movie. It's 90 minutes long, features a bunch of sets, and has a creepy opening title sequence - video look aside, it seemed like a movie to me), so maybe their audiences were accustomed to this sort of stuff. I assume they were also OK with the casual racism (the scientists are trying to invent a new recording medium to compete with "the Japs" - a comment that is delivered by a guy pulling his eyes into slants)... the point is that it's kind of dated by today's standards, but I can't really hold that against it since at the time they probably didn't have much reason to think it would still be available to watch 40 years later on something called an "Xbox".

Thus, it'd be interesting to see an update (even as a TV movie), since I quite like the idea of doing a Poltergeist type movie without the Frelings - just the scientists who usually show up halfway through (Insidious is another example - imagine a movie with just Specs and Tucker!), and even if some of the science goes over my head, it's at least a bigger stakes scenario than the usual family unit, since a bunch of scientists are easier to kill off than a mom or dad of a family unit (and forget about the kids). And unlike a family, scientists have a built in reason to stick around and solve whatever mystery is at hand, so as long as they refrain from taunting alien snakes or getting high in their spacesuits, such a film would reduce the amount of time an audience spends yelling at the protagonists. More science-driven horror movies!

What say you?

Rats: Night Of Terror (1984)

DECEMBER 29, 2012

GENRE: POST-APOCALYPTIC, PREDATOR
SOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)

The most surprising thing about Rats: Night Of Terror (Italian: Rats - Notte di Terrore) is that despite coming from Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso (the guys behind Hell Of The Living Dead), it's actually not particularly gory or violent, and it saves its only truly batshit moment for the closing shot. Otherwise it's a pretty straightforward, somewhat too-slowly paced tale of a group of survivors who come up from underground to scavenge for supplies and end up trapped in a building with a bunch of bloodthirsty rats.

And by bloodthirsty I mean "occasionally the filmmakers will dump a bucket of the poor things on one of their actors". Those scenes are a delight, because it looks to me like they're actual live rats (not rubber) being tossed haphazardly over an understandably freaked out actor, but more often than not the actors will scream and fret about the rats, and then Mattei will cut to a shot of a bunch of the things just sort of chilling, sniffing around, crawling over one another... basically everything a rat can do EXCEPT advance or make any sort of threatening behavior toward the humans they're supposedly trying to kill. Sometimes they don't even bother with the cutaway; we just have to take the actor's word for it. To be fair, Mattei DOES use a bunch of rubber rats for one shot, where they're placed evenly on a conveyor belt or something and glide past the camera, so in comparison the real rats that are just hanging out look terrifying.

Now, this is the early 80s so obviously there's no CGI to use - but why did they opt for normal sized rats (actually guinea pigs painted brown/gray, according to an interview with Mattei on the disc) instead of giant ones, which they could use puppets or trick photography to give some sense of menace? I'm used to my Italian horror movies being silly, but not in this fashion - at no point did I feel they were in any real danger from the film's only villain. Even when they were just being dumped all over the characters, you can see the rats just sort of freaking out and scampering AWAY from their "target", so it all comes across more than a bit flat.

Otherwise, it's still pretty enjoyable. Mattei was going for a bit of a Night of the Living Dead thing here, so the survivors bicker fairly often, and one guy plays Cooper and turns on the others, but we have laid-back rats instead of zombies. Mattei stages a few memorable death (or, post-death) scenes, as the rats have a thing for crawling inside bodies and exiting when witnesses are around to see it - one crawls out of a woman's mouth, so you can use your imagination to figure out where it crawled IN, and at one point a body actually bursts apart as several of the things make their way out. They're also fans of propping corpses against doors and such like a slasher killer, so I found that pretty amusing even if it didn't make a lick of sense. It's not very gory (just about every makeup effect of note is seen on a corpse), but there's some variety to the 6-7 deaths all the same. And the hero is named Kurt and more or less dressed like MacReady from The Thing, so I'm completely on board with that.

It's also rife with bonkers dialogue, particularly from the character of Video (they all have stupid names), who bemoans never getting to play a real video game but yet can't recognize a computer when he sees one (he claims it needs "a kick in the balls" when he can't get it started). I also loved the bit where they find "food", which is mostly sugar and flour - a couple of them bite into sugar bags and eat it, which I kind of get (who hasn't eaten a sugar packet?), but when they do the same for flour I started getting confused (and also instantly began singing "Sal Tlay Ka Siti" from Book Of Mormon). This also has the movie's most delightfully weird bit, as a guy dumps the bag over the lone black member of the group as part of the celebration, and she immediately begins dancing around while shouting about how she's now whiter than the rest of them.

Well, 2nd weirdest. This movie has the odd distinction of having a totally bonkers final minute that I somehow managed to call 20 minutes before, albeit mostly as a joke. There's something admirable about it, to be sure, but at the same time it kind of diminished the power (lack of a better word) of the film's rather surprising social commentary, in that humans and rats had switched places. In our day, we ran the world while the rats were forced to live in the sewers, but now it's the other way around, and thus (considering the limitations described above) the rats spend the movie doing the same thing we do to any rats that surface just to find food or something - we exterminate it. And to some degree this is just hammered home by the finale, but does so in a silly way that puts the movie into full-blown Syfy movie territory as opposed to something more grounded (and thus more interesting).

Mattei doesn't talk much about the ending... or the actors, plot, etc on the 8 minute interview that serves as the disc's only extra of note (the typically overlong trailer - in which the movie is called Blood Kill - and a Mattei bio are also included). He only spends about two minutes on Rats before moving on to discuss Hell Of The Living Dead in greater detail, including the reveal that the infamous tutu bit in that movie was made up on the spot. It's odd that he doesn't have much to say about this film, since he's claimed its his favorite of all the ones he's made (early on in the interview he says his films are like his children, then later says he wishes he could reshoot them all - poor kids), but maybe the interview was conducted specifically for that movie and they just tossed it on here since he mentioned Rats a couple times. The bio is pretty good, giving some credit to co-writer (and co-director?) Fragasso, who worked with Mattei a lot back in his pre-Troll 2 infamy.

It's certainly no Of Unknown Origin, and probably a bit too slow and not violent enough for those accustomed to the gory nonsense of most Italian horror of this period, Rats is not without its own charms, and it's interesting to discover that Mattei and Fragasso once put together a movie that actually makes relative sense. If it's playing with something else at a repertory theater's double bill, it's worth sticking around for, but I wouldn't lead with it. I also wouldn't recommend watching it if you, like me, have been itching to play Fallout lately - underground dwellers in a post-apoc world coming up and encountering rats? Where are the stimpacks?

What say you?

Zero Days (to) Thirteen, or '12 Dark -> '13


Here we are, the last day of 2012. And my viewing last night was a fortuitous one, because the title allowed me not one, but two year-end related puns for the title of this post. Don't tell me you aren't impressed.

But if you're looking for my thoughts on this movie, you won't be impressed with this particular post.

Huh, Vance? I want to know if you liked Zero Dark Thirty -- okay, let's be honest, not if you liked it, but how much. After all, you wrote lengthy posts with numerous subheadings for two other recent anticipated holiday releases, The Hobbit and The Impossible. Why not this one?

Well, I'll tell you -- I'm in cone of silence mode. Especially with movies that have the potential to be near the top of my year-end list, which is just 11 days away from being unveiled to the world.

In the past, it's been my tradition to stop sharing my thoughts on movies as the calendar rolls around to the next year. Whether you think of it this way or not, I tend to think of it as a very climactic day on the schedule when I publish my final rankings of that year's films, all the way from the best I saw to the worst. I don't want you to read that list for the first time and say "Ho hum, there's the predictable #1 that I knew Vance would choose."

Actually, this year I've been a bit more forthcoming in telling you about movies I love and hate than in previous years. And that probably corresponds to my telling you what I think of the movies I see more than I used to, in general. Talking about the success or failure of movies only makes sense on a film blog, except that in my case, this blog has never been about reviews. It's more about observations and trends, and only about the quality of the films when I'm specifically inspired to give a film love or hate.

The difference as I look back on 2012 is that this is the first year since 2004 when I didn't get paid for a single film review. I was a working critic from 2000 to 2003, and then again from 2005 until last year. Last November I wrote my final review for All Movie Guide. I guess I shouldn't say it's definitely the last one, because I thought I'd written my last review for them in 2003 before they re-upped for another six years of my writing in early 2005. But starting up with them again seems less likely this time. The big difference between 2005 and now? Anyone in the world who wants to write about film can do so, and have their thoughts broadcast to as many eyeballs as they can hustle to their blog. Consequently, there's no longer a premium on paying someone to provide that kind of content.

You'd think that no longer getting paid to write film reviews would have left me depressed, but 2012 didn't have that kind of a feel for me. Instead, I found that the creative juices I used to expend on reviews have found their way to my blog. I've been possessed by that intangible mystery known as inspiration, and it's made me a lot more prolific. In fact, I'm just finishing a month in which I only failed to post on two different days: Christmas Day, for obvious reasons, and yesterday, because at long last I wasn't so inspired to write that I simply had to. Frankly, I probably needed the rest. But going back into November, that means I updated my blog every day for 26 straight days. That's an unprecedented streak on this blog, likely doubling my longest previous streak.

So that has me feeling quite hopeful for 2013. Ah, but hope is not enough. And remember, this is the time of year for New Year's resolutions, isn't it?

I'm sure there are plenty of other things I'd like to accomplish in my life in 2013, but since this is a film blog, let's concentrate on five film-related resolutions. And try to ignore the fact that resolutions are known for how rarely they are actually accomplished.

1) Promote The Audient more. Don't be content with the current group of loyal readers I have, but try to find more of those aforementioned eyeballs. I do almost nothing to advertise new posts, and am doing the bare minimum in terms of reciprocity with other film blogs. I can do better on both of these things in 2013. You can consider 1a to be "read more of other good film blogs," rather than just the half-dozen staples I've had for several years now.

2) Write for other film blogs. Nathan at Flickchart is particularly interested in me writing regularly again for the Flickchart blog. Not that you could ever describe my previous contributions as "regular," but they became highly irregular in 2012, when I posted only a single time. And that blog definitely has more readers than I do, so I'll get the eyeballs there even if I don't get them on The Audient

3) Write for other (non-blog) websites. A woman contacted me last summer to try to get me to write for a site called The Artifice, which is more of an entertainment news site than an actual blog. She can't pay me, but there could be swag in it for me, as well as additional exposure and possibly money down the road. It's a nice-looking site. I shouldn't have kept her waiting for an answer for this long.

4) Write that script. Yes, really. A couple weeks ago I got a terrific idea for a script that I know I can write, and unlike with most ideas I get, I already know the complete structure as well as how it ends. To be clear, I don't have an actual ambition to be a screenwriter. However, I do know that screenwriting is probably the only type of "hit the jackpot" writing I might possibly do, my only way to make significant money if I do it correctly. As for this idea, I'm not going to share it with you right now, and probably not for quite awhile.

5) Get paid to write about movies again. It's possible. I know it is. I just have to figure out how.

Here's hoping you have a great New Year's Eve, and beyond that, a productive 2013, in which you don't blow off your resolutions either.

And if tonight's countdown to midnight isn't exciting enough, the countdown to hear what I think of ZDT is T-minus 11.

Sunday, 30 December 2012

The Sky Isn't Falling Yet


For a variety of reasons (the holidays, family obligations, etc.) the 50 Years of 007 write-up on Skyfall has been postponed until after the film's home video release in a couple months. In the meantime, here's Cody's opening weekend reaction: (Inter)National Hero.

The film series' 50th anniversary year may be coming to an end, but James Bond Will Return.

The Afflicted (2010)

DECEMBER 28, 2012

GENRE: PSYCHOLOGICAL
SOURCE: STREAMING (NETFLIX INSTANT)

Ever since I started HMAD, I've done my best to see all theatrically released horror films in theaters, though a few always pass me by (usually in October, when there's just too much going on to hit everything). But it's rare to stumble across something like The Afflicted, which not only played but made a decent amount of money (over 200k on 13 screens - to compare, the far more recognizable V/H/S played on 19 and only made half that) - yet I never even heard of it until it popped up on Netflix Instant. And I'm the guy actively LOOKING for stuff like this - clearly there's something broken in the system.

Anyway, it's a decent flick, though I'm not sure what the point is. It's based on the real life story of Theresa Knorr, a woman with a few children who went batshit crazy and began abusing her two oldest daughters, including forcing one into prostitution in order to make money to pay bills. A terrible, depressing story to be sure, but I'm not sure if it was crying out to be dramatized and turned into a horror film in the vein of The Girl Next Door (another true life case of horrid abuse), because there isn't much there in terms of plot or even characters - beyond the six person family unit (including Kane Hodder as the father, who exits the movie quicker than Jason did in Jason Goes To Hell), there are only two other people in the movie: a scumbag who pays to deflower (rape) one of the daughters, and a TV preacher that the mom fancies.

That's the angle that the movie should have exploited, but he gets sidelined for long stretches where we just see the mom (Leslie Easterbrook) smacking around one of the daughters for one reason or another, or drinking and muttering to herself. The description made it sound like something along the lines of Frailty, with her convinced that demons were around and that she was doing this stuff under the guise of "protecting" her children, but without that heavy religious influence (and the fact that the preacher sort of turns hero toward the end), she just comes across as a standard psychotic. For a while I just assumed they were sticking closely to the story out of respect or something, but the ending is completely different from reality - in real life Knorr is still in prison, thanks to testimony from the daughter, but in the movie (spoiler) the daughter kills her and then commits suicide.

Luckily the performances make up for the thin story. Easterbrook can be a bit over the top, but anyone who just knows her as Callahan from the Police Academy movies will be in shock to see her Piper Laurie-ing it up here, and the girls playing her daughters - despite not looking anything like her or each other - are also quite good. Kane's role is too brief to say much about, though it's always nice to see him out of the makeup, and kind of amusing to see him as a victim. It's also well made across the board - I wouldn't have been bewildered to have been watching this in a theater like some of the junk I've seen recently (Saint Dracula!), though their credit guy deserves a good smack to the balls for spelling the Prophet guy's name as "Cowboy Profit" in the end titles.

Not much else to say, really. I wasn't bored or annoyed watching it, but again I'm not sure what the point was - everything the movie offered could be described in its brief plot synopsis. Girl Next Door introduced some thriller elements, plus a strong dose of Stand By Me-ish nostalgia/coming of age drama mixed with terror - this doesn't really have either; it just matter of factly tells its story. The daughters never make much of an effort to escape (the son is almost a complete non-entity), and there's no way to feel much sympathy toward Easterbrook's character (they also don't explore the idea that she's able to act normal when confronted by school officials or whoever). Similarly, the performances are good, but they're not the sort of "Holy shit this is award-worthy" tour de force work that are enough to overlook the story issues. It's basically the most "OK" movie ever made. Grats?

What say you?

P.S. Since it's available on Netflix Instant, does anyone want to play music detective? The music that underscores the birthday party in the opening scene (around 1:40 in the movie) is definitely something I've heard before, but it's not any of the songs listed in the credits. Can anyone identify it and let me know what it is? I'll give you a dollar.

Saturday, 29 December 2012

The Best of 2012

These are the movies of 2012 we loved above all others. The ones we'll remember.

They thrilled us, and they chilled us. Some made us think, while other just made us cover our eyes. All of them made us smile.

*Click the pics to read our full reviews and get the in-depth skinny on them, or just take our abbrevated words here as proof that you need to see these movies asap (if you already haven't.)

cabin
There was really no movie that tickled our collective Horror Bones this year more than The Cabin in the Woods did. It was fun, clever, bloody and played its hand smarter than any other genre flick did this year, all of which added up to one hell of a fresh and much needed experience.

The script and its story were superb, and had our minds racing to imagine the scope of it all. Joss Whedon definitely knows how to make we movie geeks froth at the mouth, and we cant wait to see what he did with The Avengers. Drew Goddard is no slouch either; the long time Whedon collaborator delivers the goods with his first directorial effort, and he's going to go on to do more great things, we just know it. They've given us one of the best conceptualized and most sharply written movies of this decade, and there's no end to the praise they deserve for this little genre gem.

The last 20 minutes of this movie are like a Horror Fanboy's wet dream; a cacophony of insanity and awesomeness that ends with... well, a very satisfying bang.

This really is excellent stuff here, folks. Our Cabin in the Woods Blu-ray will be getting plenty of spins out of us for years to come, and we can't wait.

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The Collection was a satisfying follow-up to one of our favorite flicks of recent years, The Collector. We really wish it had run about 20 minutes longer or so, because it honestly felt a bit rushed, but that's about the only complaint we had about this great flick. Bloody as hell and mean spirited, we hope The Collection garners a bigger audience on Home Video than it did in Theaters. It even has a great ending too, which is a rarity in the Horror Genre these days, and that makes it even better.

After some of the horrific events of 2012 involving gun violence, it was hard to look back on God Bless America with as much love as we had for it when we first saw it. It's still one hell of a fun film, but it takes on a different tone now, and feels a bit heavier than we remember it being before. GBA is about as timely and necessary as a movie can possibly be. I have personally been saying that "the dumbing down of America" has been in full swing for years now, and this movie captures that concept perfectly. Sure, it's over the top and overtly gratuitous, but then so are the targets of the movie's rage. We hope that it won't be unfairly vilified because of its violent gun-spree content, because it's a statement on Pop Culture, not how we should go out and kill people who frustrate us because we feel we have no other recourse left to us.

The Grey is a tension filled action thriller that operates on a deeper level, almost like it's a philosophical action flick. There's sentimentality to spare amongst the carnage and tension of the wolf vs. man battle for dominance, and that's a good thing. It's nice to see a genre flick that doesn't feel so empty for a change. The idea of Liam Neeson fighting wolves sold us on this movie from the get go. Let's be honest here; Liam Neeson is the kind of actor that instantly makes any movie better, just for him starring in it. Him fighting wolves... that's a double win for us all.

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We found ourselves liking Kill List more and more after repeat viewings, and by the end of the year, it was one of our faves of 2012. It surely didn't shy away from the violence, some of which was pretty cringe-inducing; it is about hit men after all, so you'd hope there would be some good whacking going on, right? Where the movie truly shines though, is in the subtlety of whats really going on underneath the surface of things; where the movie ends up going is interesting and made us want to see it again, to see what signs and portents we missed the first time around. The ride was better each time we took it.

Killer Joe is a gritty Crime Thriller that shows us Matthew McConaughey in a different light; this is his personal version of Patrick Bateman. We would love to see him get some awards recognition for this role, because he's just that good in it. Awards or not, this is one movie that horror fans will revel in, as long as they aren't expecting something along the lines of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. The "fried chicken scene" alone makes this one worth seeing.

The Loved Ones is a violent and fun little flick, that left us feeling satisfied by the time the end credits started rolling. Aussie horror always seems to me to be pretty straightforward and nasty, and I respect that. In this one, a creepy bitch who got passed over for a prom date has a perverted little prom of her own, which includes using a hammer to make a guy piss in a cup, fixing his foot to the floor with a knife, drilling into his skull, and nearly fu**ing her dad... yes. Her dad. It's truly a nasty little piece of work.

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From its opening sequence, The Pact pulled us in and didn't ever let us go. The premise was great, and mixing the story of a serial killer with some effective paranormal elements worked perfectly. The atmosphere was eerie and tense throughout, and the scares were effective. There was one instance of a musical cue/jump scare early on, but that sort of trickery wasn't repeated or resorted to to drive the movie. The Pact is a little movie that didn't seem to make many best of lists, and we can't understand why. It's easily one of the best pure horror films of the year.

The Directors of Rabies essentially took the premise of a backwoods slasher flick, added layers of subtext to the premise, and made it stand out as an above average flick. There no one with rabies in this movie, nor does the title rabies signify any sort of viral infection in the movie, so don't be mislead. It's a flick that definitely breaks the mold that it was supposed to follow, and that's a good thing. We'd gladly welcome a sequel to Rabies into our lives.

Sinister was very effective in both story and scare factor, giving us a solid narrative to chew on and a really creepy atmosphere, while going very light on the jump scares and music cues that usually tend to plague Hollywood horror releases. What was Hollywood thinking? They gave moviegoers a mature horror flick that was aimed more for the adult crowd than teenyboppers, and it was not only good, but made a hell of a profit for them? Maybe it's the start of a trend!

As for the rest of the year's best...

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For a new movie, call ... CinemaNow


I always tell you when I discover new ways to consume movies. Don't I?

Well, I've got one.

The thrust of my Friday night movie watching took several unexpected twists and turns. At one point I was going to go see Django Unchained, but I called an audible and decided I was in no physical shape -- the indulgences of the holiday had caught up with me in the form of consistent heartburn and general exhaustion. If I hadn't been going to do that, the plan was to watch The Duplass brothers' The Do-Deca-Pentathlon with my wife. But before we had a chance to start that, we decided that its 76-minute length made it the perfect choice for one of our son's naps. That left us with a half-dozen other choices of 2012 movies on Netflix streaming, all of which were serious documentaries or impenetrable foreign films -- not "Friday night viewing," anyway.

So we decided to check among our BluRay player's other internet-based choices in its Netcast section, specifically the literally named service CinemaNow.

We'd used CinemaNow previously to watch the last couple episodes of The Walking Dead, which became necessary when our DirecTV tuner crapped out and we lost the episodes we had saved. For a minimal fee (something like $2.99 each), we were able to easily catch up with those episodes -- which was especially key given that The Walking Dead is not available to watch online for free, and without this, we might have been forced to wait until the show was available on DVD. (Or itunes, but we'd still have to watch it on one of our computers.) My wife had also used this service to catch a couple episodes of Bones.

Anyway, quite obviously, CinemaNow is not for TV only. And last night represented our first perusal of the movie options. At first I didn't notice anything special, except that the choices are organized in a very easy-to-digest single row that moves along the middle of the screen. (That's the same way Netflix is set up on our old BluRay player, but sadly, not our new one.) But then I noticed something that did qualify it as special: For a Good Time, Call ..., which I'd given up as inaccessible to me before the deadline for my list (it won't debut on DVD until January 22nd).

If I were staying in a hotel, I'm sure I could have gotten FAGTC back in October. But in all non-magical non-hotel environments, I figured it wouldn't be possible to see before my January 10th ranking deadline. Along comes CinemaNow. After all, it's called "CinemaNow," not "CinemaJanuary22nd."

And since my wife had already registered her credit card for the purchases of Walking Dead and Bones, all we had to do was click a single button to rent it for $3.99. 

If I were 15 years younger or 15 years more technically savvy, I wouldn't be impressed by the fact that there are any number of alternatives for affordable instant movies at my fingertips, CinemaNow probably being neither the coolest nor the most significant among them. After all, DirecTV has plenty of on-demand movies as well, which are probably around the same price -- we just haven't availed ourselves of that option very much because the interface for choosing them is significantly clunkier.

But I am and can only be me, and as me, I was pretty impressed.

One of the best things this reminds me is that even if I haven't made what's becoming my daily visit to Redbox, I still have plenty of options for not getting stuck with a serious documentary or an impenetrable foreign film. And the advantage it has over Redbox is that I don't have to commit to a choice. (Of course, Redbox has the advantage of costing a third of the price.)

I wouldn't be surprised if CinemaNow rears its head again sometime before January 10th.

The movie? Three stars out of five. It's the very definition of uneven, but its good moments are pretty delightful.

Friday, 28 December 2012

The Thompsons (2012)

DECEMBER 27, 2012

GENRE: VAMPIRE
SOURCE: BLU-RAY (OWN COLLECTION)

Before I begin reviewing The Thompsons, I just want to apologize for my earliest reviews from 2007. Not only are they way too snarky, they're pointlessly vague, so when I realize I can't remember much about (Thompsons' predecessor) The Hamiltons and decide to look at my own review to help, I find it useless. If I had the time I'd re-review them all and write em up properly, but alas... (I wish I had a picture of all my Xbox games here to put in, but take my word for it - there are a lot of them still in shrinkwrap).

Anyway, what I CAN garner from that review is that I felt the movie was "meh" (writing!) and that it foolishly attempted to build a twist out of what was kind of obviously going on with the youngest member of the family. Luckily, now that we know what they are (pseudo "vampires" that need human blood to survive and grow teeth/red eyes when enraged but otherwise share no traits with the traditional vampire), there's no silly twist or reason to hide anything from the audience. Instead, this time The Butcher Brothers (yep, they're sticking with that, for some reason) opt for a convoluted, non-chronological first half, which starts with one of the Hamiltons (now the Thompsons) trapped in a coffin, and narrates to us how he got in there.

However, this includes at least two occasions where he more or less says "Oh wait, let me back up a little more and tell you this other thing first", rendering it more confusing than it needed to be. I thought maybe they were going for an "unreliable narrator" sort of thing, where we'd learn that part of his story was made up, or maybe there'd be a twist to how everything really went down (like Memento where he goes back far enough to reveal the truth behind why he killed Teddy), but no - there's not much of a payoff for it. And if I'm piecing it all together in order in my head correctly, they can't even claim there would be a pacing issue - the first thing that would happen would be a pretty fun scene at a diner in the desert, and it wouldn't be long before there was another action scene at a pub. I don't get it.

Otherwise, it's an entertaining followup, and better than "Meh" which means it's probably better than the original (don't hold me to that though - I used Wikipedia to help me remember more about its narrative but I'm still a bit hazy). Again, they don't need to hide anything this time, so there's a lot more action, though once again he youngest member (Lenny) is sidelined for the bulk of the film. Whereas before he was chained in the basement, this time he's seriously injured and the other members spend the movie trying to find a way to cure him. This leads them to England, where they discover another family of "vampires" who they think can help. Things don't work out, of course, and there's a fun war between the two clans. Sure, it'd be nice if all the bloodshed was practical (yep, more odd floaty digital blood on display here), but it's fun to see vamps go at it in the name of family, especially when you consider that they don't have regenerative powers or whatever.

Plus I quite liked the whole thing about family sticking together - it's not something you see too often in a vampire movie, and despite the long gap between the two films, the primary actors return (Lenny is different, but since he's barely in either of them it doesn't matter much). And that's something that's rare in horror in general - how often CAN a sequel bring back more than 1 or 2 people anyway? So it's interesting to see them all come back, a bit older and with the actors clearly enjoying their return to this world. It also gives Francis (the one who was filming everything in the first movie) a lot more to do - he's almost the guy in charge this time, as David's role is mostly limited to watching over Lenny until the final reel. It's another issue with the strange structure of the first half - it's a while before we see them all together, but if they had put the movie in order we'd see it right away, which is sort of the thing you'd want in a long-awaited sequel.

It's not a long movie (82 minutes), but the DVD/Blu (available as a combo - I love this approach, by the way) doubles your value with behind the scenes material that takes almost as long to watch. The presentation is a bit curious - there are six featurettes that run an average of 13 minutes each, and each of those is broken into chapters. But there's no rhyme or reason to any of it; you'd expect one to be about the genesis, one about casting, one about post, etc, but all topics are just sort of scattered around - the 5th piece still has stuff that you'd think would have been covered in the first one. But they cover a TON of ground, and explore areas not often seen in horror docs, like the fight coordinating and production design. They also spend a curious amount of time on financing and how to secure producers, so if that's your thing - enjoy! The trailer for this and some other releases from XLRator are also included, though with Bigfoot: Lost Coast Tapes and Gangsters, Guns & Zombies among them, the latter isn't much of a bonus.

The True Blood influence is apparent, but if the popularity of that (and Twilight) helped get this sequel made after six years, so be it. I can't exactly say I was dying for a followup, but I'm sure many were, and I think they delivered a stronger film in the process. Hopefully if they do the 3rd one (discussed in the bonus features) they stop with the attempts at twists and trying to be clever and just focus on the characters and story, and thus really knock it out of the park.

What say you?

Worth Mentioning - Acknowledging End of Pattern

We watch several movies a week. Every Friday, we'll talk a little about some of the movies we watched that we felt were Worth Mentioning.


Planes and trains take Cody out of 2012.



RED EYE (2005)

Director Wes Craven took a rare detour out of the horror genre to make this thriller, in which an explosive assassination plot revolves around the interaction between two passengers on a red eye flight from Dallas to Miami.

One of those passengers is Miami hotel manager Lisa Reisert, the other is the charming man seated beside her, a man with the unlikely name Jackson Rippner. Lisa's having a bad enough time, being on the way home from her grandmother's funeral, but her day is about to get much worse. As soon as their plane takes off, Rippner's facade of friendliness begins to fall apart and it becomes obvious that his unlikely name is actually a cheeky pseudonym. Rippner is a bad guy, a sort of gun-for-hire who gets paid to facilitate acts of terrorism. The job he's currently working on involves the hotel Lisa works at and the new Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security, who will be checking into the hotel in the early morning. Rippner needs Lisa to pull some strings to put the government employee in the right place at the right time... and to make sure she does so, he threatens the life of her father, a man who worries a lot about his daughter's well-being and is anxiously awaiting her arrival in Miami. Unbeknownst to him, a knife-wielding hitman sits outside his house.

The story is simple, Craven keeps the tension level high through much of the lean, fast paced 85 minute running time (80 when the end credits begin) and it's carried off by a strong cast led by Rachel McAdams, Cillian Murphy, and Brian Cox, with Jayma Mays in a fun supporting role and an appearance by Survivor contestant Colby Donaldson as a Secret Service agent.

It all builds to an exciting third act, in which Craven's horror experience pays off with a great, deadly game of cat and mouse played by Lisa and Rippner.


Another enjoyable, fast paced, vehicle based thriller is


SOURCE CODE (2011)

At 7:48am, a bomb was detonated aboard a Chicago commuter train. Authorities believe that the train bombing is just the first in a series of attacks, a letter of intent, with the follow-up being much larger: there's a threat of a dirty bomb being set off right in downtown Chicago.

An experimental military program is activated in attempt to avert this crisis. U.S. Army helicopter pilot Captain Colter Stevens has been unwittingly recruited for this mission. The last thing Stevens knew, he was taking RPG fire in Afghanistan, but now he's awoken aboard the commuter train minutes before the explosion, his consciousness in the body of one of the soon-to-be victims, a school teacher named Sean Fentress.

Stevens is in what is called the "source code", which has used the short term memory track of Fentress's mind to recreate the final moments on the train as a sort of virtual reality world, "a parallel reality", for Stevens to navigate through. Within this world, he is meant to find out who planted the bomb on the train so authorities can stop the bomber before the dirty bomb is detonated. Stevens only has 8 minutes to do so, the length of the memory track, before the train explodes. Fortunately, the only ticking clock he really has to worry about is when the second bombing will occur, because if he's blown up on the train the source code can be reset and he can start over again at the top of the 8 minutes. He has to live through the 8 minutes several times over the course of the film as he tries to accomplish his objectives. Director Duncan Jones and writer Ben Ripley did good work keeping things interesting as Stevens has to replay certain scenarios until he gets things just right, the repetition never gets tedious.

While Stevens' mission within the source code provides some good tension and suspense, the film also has an involving dramatic plotline dealing with his confusion about how exactly he became part of this program and his desire to get in contact with his father. He's also given a romantic interest in the form of Christina Warren, a fellow commuter who regularly chats with Fentress during their train rides to work.

A sci-fi actioner with the hero's consciousness being within the body of someone else is reminiscent of Trancers, Sean Fentress has some things in common with that film's Phillip Deth, but what this story of a hero in someone else's body attempting to right wrongs brings to mind even more is the television series Quantum Leap. Director Duncan Jones clearly realized that, since he gave series star Scott Bakula a vocal cameo in the film and even had him speak a line his character often said, "Oh, boy." Word of the Bakula cameo had somehow completely gotten past me when Source Code came out last year, I didn't know about it until reading up on the movie after this week's viewing.

The fact that there's a Bakula cameo is cool, and the stars on screen are some of my favorites to watch as well: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright.

Farmiga's character delivers a line that I should keep in mind over the next year in regards to my hesitancy and time wasting when it comes to getting my own filmmaking on track: "Don't squander it thinking. Do."

"Because then I couldn't be in it" and other Impossible thoughts


Having been teased by the sensational opening 15 minutes of Clint Eastwood's Hereafter, I was really looking forward to a full movie dealing with the 2004 tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands on the shores of the countries abutting the Indian Ocean. (It was a tease also in terms of the potential for that dud of a movie, but that's another story.)

So when I saw the first trailers for J.A. Bayona's The Impossible, I knew it would be on my must-see list, likely in the theater. And so it was that I sat for a few extra minutes in my parked car the other day when I heard star Naomi Watts being interviewed on NPR prior to the film's release.

It was a good interview in which Watts sounded typically intelligent and graceful, but one moment could have thrown her if she'd let it. (I don't know if they're given the questions beforehand, but I doubt it.) Interviewer Melissa Block asked Watts if it gave her pause that this movie focused on the smallest demographic of people who died in the tsunami: European tourists, as opposed to Southeast Asians, who made up probably 99% of the casualties.

Here's a paraphrase of how Watts responded: "Well when I learned that it was a serious filmmaker who was going to approach the topic sensitively, I didn't worry so much about that."

But here's what she easily could have said: "But if it was a movie about a Thai family surviving incredible odds, I couldn't have appeared in it."

And I honestly think this would have been a reasonable, if probably too frank, response.

As an actor, especially an actor who takes herself as seriously as Watts does (has she ever appeared in a comedy?), you thrive on the opportunity to play roles that aren't just a carbon copy of the last role you played. A woman who improbably lives despite being at ground zero of the deadliest tsunami in history is a pretty unusual character to be able to play. And I think you'd agree that if a truly serious movie about a topic like this is to be made, it has to be based on historical fact. It can't be just some fictional person surviving some fictional tsunami, because then it just seems like it could never have happened.

So if Watts were ever going to be in a position to star in a movie about the 2004 tsunami, that movie would have to be about a white couple (Spanish in real life, British here). Are we saying she should turn down this opportunity just because the movie might have the unfortunate unintended consequence of making it seem as though the life or death of this English woman is "more important" than the life or death of the Thai woman serving her drinks in her cabana? That's not Watts' responsibility. She's just the hired help, and she's hired to help the director make the most sensitive possible movie he can about a British family trying to survive a horrific natural disaster. She succeeded, I'm pleased to say.

What she could have said and it would have been true, but thank goodness she didn't: "You can't make a movie like this about a Thai family. No studio would ever give you the money, because they think nobody would watch it. And they'd probably be right."

Some other Impossible thoughts:

In their shoes

In case you can't tell from what I've written so far (and how could you?), I did actually see The Impossible, on Christmas Eve. Which was a funny day to see it for a number of reasons that had the effect of putting me even more in this family's shoes.

That's of course the desired outcome of any movie about a natural disaster in which you follow the struggles of a couple key characters -- to feel like you are really going through what they're going through. But in my case it was a lot more specific in a couple interesting ways.

For one, I happened to see the movie on December 24th. This also happens to be the very day the Bennett family's story begins. They touch down in Phuket on Christmas Eve 2004, two days prior to the giant wave that tried to smash them to bits. It was odd sitting there in a theater in Southern California exactly eight years later, having the same proximity to Christmas they had, the same hope inspired by the holiday -- a hope that was to be dashed on Boxing Day, only they couldn't have known it then.

Then that night, to mark Christmas Eve, they participate in a ceremony on the beach in which hundreds of paper lanterns are sent floating into the sky. I had witnessed this very thing myself, also on film, in the movie I had re-watched just the night before: Tangled. In fact, as I was watching one of the most famous sequences in Tangled (famous in part for how effective the 3D is during that scene), it occurred to me to wonder whether sending floating paper lanterns into the sky is a real thing, or just something invented for this Disney fantasy world. Who would have thought it would have taken just 16 hours to have my question answered.

Then something else occurred just yesterday. As I was driving in to work, I popped in an audio book I received for Christmas: A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson. Reading his own work, Bryson discusses very early on that it's impossible to tell which stars in the sky are alive and which are dead, because in some cases their light has been traveling to us for thousands of years. This same thing is discussed in The Impossible as a young boy and an old woman are looking up at the night sky. She uses the word "impossible" -- thereby providing the most overt meaning for the title -- in discussing how to tell that very thing, which stars are alive and which are dead. It's clearly intended as a metaphor for their current situation, where the reigning chaos has left it impossible to know who's alive and who isn't.

Eschewing vanity

One of the reasons Naomi Watts should get to play whatever role she wants is that she puts so much of herself into each performance. This has always been the case with her. If you're like me, you first became aware of her in Mulholland Drive, where she gives one of the most fearless performances I have ever seen, yielding completely to whatever David Lynch wanted her to do. Since then, it's just been more of the same. She never seems to balk at nudity, and you also get the impression she couldn't give a shit whether or not she's shot in a flattering light. All that matters is the work.

It wouldn't surprise you to know that this same Naomi Watts shows up for work here. She spends much of this movie caked in blood, hyperventilating, screaming out in agony, and generally looking three shades of green.

But the moment that really struck me was after she's weathered the two initial waves that tried to KO her. While walking through some reeds with her 13-year-old son (the revelatory Tom Holland), she turns to him, and he awkwardly registers that one of her tank top straps has ripped, exposing one grime-covered breast to the world. Dutifully, she ties the loose strap to the strap on the other side, and starts walking again.

Through this one little moment, you really believe that this tsunami is the kind of thing that would leave a person so exhausted and so unguarded that she might temporarily forget the ordinary human instinct toward shame. On the larger scale, it also made me recognize that this is the method that makes Watts such a good actress -- she isn't aware of shame, and she throws herself into a project like it's a tsunami that wants to chew her up. Only if she emerges from it beaten and bruised does she know she's done her job.

No strings attached

I won't lie to you -- I got emotional a number of times during The Impossible. Now that I'm a parent, I'm a sucker for anything that involves children in peril.

According to one review I read, the reason I got emotional was because of composer Fernando Velazquez's manipulative score. The reviewer noted "His score for The Impossible is so over-the-top melodramatic that at times it borders on parody."

It got me thinking. Yes, I suppose that we wouldn't become emotional in as many movies if there weren't string instruments at the ready to let us know it's time. But is this a bad thing?

One of the great assumptions when discussing scores is that if a viewer isn't shrewd enough to note when he/she is being emotionally manipulated, he/she is some kind of unsophisticated rube. But I'm here to say this kind of thing is not universally bad. If you don't notice the strings are manipulating you, then they've done their job. They've given you the emotional catharsis you were yearning for. If you weren't yearning for it, you would have heard those same strings and laughed.

And speaking of laughter, I think there's a useful analogy to be made with laugh tracks on sitcoms. A sophisticated viewer is supposed to categorically disdain the laugh track, to consider it the single most fraudulent thing about a comedy designed to be consumed by idiots. But those kind of broad generalizations just don't hold water.

When used well, a laugh track can provide the small amount of encouragement necessary to nudge you into your own laughter. Consider the case of one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, Seinfeld. Now think about watching Seinfeld without the laugh track. It would be indescribably odd. I've chosen Seinfeld because it's pretty much television teflon -- no one you talk to about it could mount a serious complaint against it. Yet Seinfeld uses its laugh track the way Fernando Velazquez uses strings: to cause you to acknowledge and give in to an emotion you are already experiencing.

The idea is supposed to be that a genuinely emotional moment in a movie should be so pure, such an unpolluted creation by the actors and the director, that it should translate to all audiences without anything so vulgar as music to call attention to it. But that's simply not realistic. Movies are the end result of the contributions of many collaborators, and the composer is hardly the least of them. If you wanted to take this argument to the extreme, you could say that no movies should have any music, because the purpose of all music is to enhance emotions that should be able to express themselves through words and actions alone. But movies would be a pretty dismal pastime if none of them featured music.

It's as with anything. If it's done well, it's good. If it's done poorly, it calls undue attention to itself. If a sitcom isn't funny and there are bales of hysterical laughter coming from the laugh track, you notice it and think the laugh track is awful. Similarly, if the actors haven't succeeded in making you feel the emotions of a certain moment, and the strings swell to compensate, you laugh where you should be crying. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

So what I can't quite figure out about this guy's review is that he finds everything else in the movie strong. He praises the acting, the writing, the directing. If the score didn't call attention to weaknesses in those aspects of the movie, then it probably actually called attention to how great they were.

Wait, this guy directed The Orphanage?

I still haven't seen The Orphanage, so I don't know how odd it is that J.A. Bayona directed that and then this. But I'm sure some people think it's strange that he's going from a literal horror movie to something that can be described as a metaphorical horror at best.

Well, I don't think you'll be disappointed, and the evolution from one type of movie to another makes sense in a couple key scenes.

That's right, one of the things that removes this from the squishy realm of "inspirational drama" is that there are a couple set pieces that use actual horror tropes to convey what the characters are experiencing. There was at least one that didn't make any literal sense that I could determine in what is otherwise a very realistic movie. It may have been something that was purely impressionistic, and is the kind of thing that makes me appreciate this movie all the more.

Conclusions

1) If staying in a resort on the coast of the Indian Ocean, try to get a room on the second floor.

2) When you hear what sounds like a herd of elephants stampeding toward you, don't wait to see what it is -- just head up the nearest tree.

3) If you fail in the first two and get struck by the wall of water, do your best to avoid hitting any stationary objects in your path or moving objects rocketing toward you.

4) If you can, see The Impossible.