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Monday, 14 February 2011

Info Post
"Oh hell yeah!"


THE TROLL HUNTER (aka Trolljegeren)
Sub-Genre- Hand Held/Found Footage/Creature

Cast Members of Note- Otto Jesperen... is the Trolljegeren!

What's it About?- Essentially this is Norway's answer to the Blair Witch and Cloverfield, except that there's not witch involved, and it's not a lame rip off of Godzilla. This movie is about trolls; not the kind that wreak havoc on internet message boards, but the kind that live under bridges, turn to stone in the daylight, rape goats and eat sheep. People too. Maybe it's just a Norwegian thing...

So this movie is based off of a musical? Who knew?

Long story short, a film crew full of slacker dipshits hook up with, and follow around, Norway's answer to Chuck Norris. Blasphemy you say? No one is as bad ass as the greatest white karate man of all time? Well, his name is Hans, and until Chuck Norris fights a 100 meter tall troll with a flashlight, he wins the title of king bad ass. (Chuck Norris, if you're reading this, ignore what I just said. It's all propaganda for the sake of a movie review. You will always be the king. Sir. )

Fights a 100 meter tall troll with a flashlight... think about that.

There are a bunch of different types of trolls in Norway you see; some have three heads; some are as big as mountains; some look like Gerard Depardieu... and due to something or other about power lines, they have been misbehaving of late. Hans, being the Troll Hunter (more like troll murderer actually), knows the types of trolls, their traits, and their weaknesses... and most importantly, how to kill them... Gloriously.

See that tiny little thing on the ground in front of the troll? That's a hummer-like vehicle with Hans and his rooftop flashlight cannon...

That's basically the plot; Hans and his film crew buddies track a bunch of naughty trolls through the forests and mountains of Norway and kill them. Add in a government conspiracy to keep all talk of trolls on the DL, and it makes for some interesting moments. I won't spoil what happens towards the end here, but suffice it to say that trolljegeren-ing is dangerous work. Also, it smells pretty bad too. It's all about rubbing troll-fat butter on your crotch and armpits... I'm just sayin'.

Gerard Depardieu is in this.

The Good- This movie was so much fun that I'm still smiling thinking about it. Aside from an ending that left us a bit thrown off, we cant remember the last time we sat through such a fun, well made and fresh horror flick. Maybe Trick r' Treat? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Raglefant. Tussealadd. Rimtusse. Dovregubben. Harding. The massive Jotner. There are all kinds of trolls, and they are all over Norway. In the forests. In the mountains. Under bridges. They kinda look like big, smelly, hungry puppets with phallic noses, almost cartoonish. Make no mistake though, they are intimidating and they want to eat you. They feel like something out of a fairytale, but are presented to the audience as a natural predator in such a realistic way, that I'm not entirely sure that Norway doesn't really have trolls. Alright, I know they don't, but it all sure felt real.

As far as the hand-held genre goes, this movie is aces. It feels real. Nothing feels forced here like in so many other hand-held movies. Especially with Hans; he's just a gruff old timer who has a job to do. He hunts trolls. Not one thing about it scares him either, like he's hunting deer, or duck or something. He's a bad ass because he's really just someone like your dad or Grandfather, only he kills monsters.

The movie does a good job of not only keeping you on the edge of your seat, but in letting us know just how huge, imposing and dangerous these creatures really are. It's almost like watching a documentary on the National Geographic channel. They did a great job with the realism on this one.

Hans and his RPG flashlight... the dude is fighting a walking mountain!

The Bad- Where are you going, Hans? You're in the middle of fucking Norway, which is all ice and snow mind you, and maybe wandering off into the desolate tundra isn't the best idea... at least tell us why! He always was a lone wolf.

The Downright Horrendous- The ending. Sure, as a found footage flick you have to expect that at some point the footage has to just end, and abruptly, but what happened? Were they shot? Did the one guy hitch a ride? Did Hans ever finish his hike? Are the trolls doing well? I need answers. Sequel please.

The Gory- Troll piss, troll poop, troll slime (I don't want to know where it came form), sheep abuse, trolls explode, people are rent limb from limb... it's not really a violent movie overall, but the gross stuff is there.

The Naked- Nope. Well, do the trolls count as far as the naked quotient go? If so, then there's all kinds of skin on display in this one.

What did we learn?- People in Norway are tough enough to fight trolls. Also, trolls have penis noses.

The Master Says- A+ This movie needs to be seen by all genre fans, and as soon as possible. It is not perfect. Don't let a great grade make you think that it is. What Trolljegeren is though, is a hell of an entertaining movie that does the hand held genre right, and puts Cloverfield and its ilk to shame. I can't imagine how someone could not have fun with this movie.

Final Thoughts-
Did Carrot Top play the nefarious Mr. Wuzzles in Trolljegeren? The world may never know...


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