Uninhabited (2011)

"A ghost story with no boo..."
*On DVD now (UK)
We absolutely love the poster for this movie. It's misleading as hell, but something about it just grabbed us. Why is it misleading? Well, because there isn't any kind of blood at all in this movie (save for one scene), and the poster kinda makes it look like a survival horror flick, or even a slasher. It's not. It's a ghost story.

She cute.
Uninhabited is the story of Harry and Beth; a sexy couple who decide to charter a boat to drop them off on an abandoned island near the great barrier reef for 10 days of quiet vacation. Quiet, stranded, deserted vacation. Sounds like a good plan.

They frolic on the beach, play in the water, play tag in the forest, and make sweet, sweet kisses (not love) in their new island paradise. It's perfect. Or is it? They hear strange noises in the trees at night, find some odd footprints on the beach, and discover that someone videotaped them with their own camera while sleeping. Still, it takes them days to even begin to feel concerned that they aren't alone on the island, which is supposed to be deserted.

At least she was hot enough to rile up a few scares in my pants.
Soon enough they find a hut, and an old diary explaining how a young girl was raped by a bunch of men and left for dead. Of course, the girls ghost is still on the island, looking for some revenge...

Uninhabited is a gorgeous movie set in a gorgeous location, with decent performances by its actors making the most out of a fairly decent script. Problem is, nothing interesting, compelling or creepy really happens. As pristine as it all looks, there's no dirty underneath to give it any sense of dread whatsoever. As a drama it's a good film, but as anything else even resembling a horror flick, it's awful. When the ghost shows up, which isn't almost until the end, it's nowhere near scary.

And the ending itself... Ugh.

Terrifying.

The Master Says- C- As a film, Uninhabited is well made and well put together, save for the fact that it's a ghost story with absolutely no chills whatsoever. If you're interested in watching a relationship drama with the tension level of a Lifetime Channel comedy, you've found the right movie. If you're expecting blood and scares, go elsewhere.

Final Thoughts- Geraldine Hakewill and her hotness were the best part of this movie.

Dat ass...