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Saturday 27 November 2010

Info Post
"Um... don't read this if you want a decisive judgment about this movie, because we have no idea what we think of it..."


THE LAST EXORCISM (aka COTTON)
Sub-Genre- Supernatural

Cast Members of Note- Patrick Fabian, Ashley Bell, Iris Bahr, and Caleb Landry JonesLouis Hertham.

What's it About?- Cotton Marcus is a preacher whom doesn't believe in god, gives sermons about banana bread, and has one of the worst first names ever. He also lies and swindles people out of their money, in the name of the Holy Father, which is kinda underhanded. He is very charismatic though, so I guess I trust him.

Come on, he looks trustworthy!

After receiving a plea for help, Cotton and his film crew head to Asscrack, Arkansas or some place like that, to "exorcise" a "possessed" teen girl. This is why you don't mess around with the simple folk of the south; they're God fearin', gun totin', and they don't like you. They're all very well mannered and polite, but if you weren't born in the holler, you taint welcome. Cotton is definitely the kind of guy that overstays his welcome too...

"Go home, Yankee!

After he performs an exorcism, which he fakes like most women fake the "big o", things get odd and creepy. He begins to wonder if Nell is really possessed or if her dad is just crazy and wants to hurt her, or maybe even make sweet love to her. He also wonders if her brother is going to kill him or not. Also, he also wonders if human bodies were meant to contort in such as fashion as Nell wills hers to do also. I like the word also... it adds emphasis.

"The orgy hasn't even started yet, how can you be done already!"

Is Nell really possessed, or just bat-shit crazy? Will Cotton use the power of Jeebus to save her sweet little soul? Does she have daddy's bun in the oven? Does Cotton know how to take a hint and git while the gittin's good? I won't spoil what happens here, but suffice it to say that this picture says it all:

Yeah, so every one is pretty much fucked.

The Good- As the hand held/found footage genre goes, this one was alright. It's hard to say if we liked it or not, because we think we did, but we're pretty sure we didn't. Confused? Us too.

Cotton being a charlatan was a great plot move, and Patrick Fabian played his swindling role well; we liked him for the fact that he had his own set of beliefs, and mostly did what he did for the betterment of the people in his flock. Still, you can't help but totally like him, snake oil salesman that he is, which might be why he was so interesting.

The movie got better as it went along, though it never really kicked into gear as far as scares go. Some of it was creepy, and there were moments of trepidation and hel breath on our part, but it came late and didn't really mess with out minds as we thought it might have. Had Nell spouted some demonic voice or something, it would have been better. We do understand why she didn't though.

That's a brave kid being gay in the South. Kudos to him.

The Bad- The barn scene from Emily Rose, the ending camera work from Blair Witch, the main characters name stolen from the Scream series... this movie is one big thief! Maybe not, but the borrowed elements were pretty glaring.

The Downright Horrendous- The last 8 minutes or so of this movie have caused quite the backlash amongst moviegoers. I won't spoil it, because people who spoil twists are a-holes, but I do have to say that it was a decent idea, but came and went like a flash. The whole movie took it's sweet time doing much of anything, builds a little, pretty much resolves itself, and then BAM! CRAZY TWIST ENDING! It did make me look back and appreciate some of the story elements differently, but they really needed to let it breathe a bit more. It felt forced.

The Gory- There's some blood here and there throughout the movie, but most of it comes in the form of Sanskrit ramblings on walls and cave drawings, also on walls. Cotton does get a pretty nasty cut though, and one person gets beheaded. You don't really get to see that though.

The Naked- Nope. This movie was shot in a dry (as in sex dry) county... although creepy little Nell did try to seduce the camera chick. She wanted it!

What did we learn?- Preachers lie! Also, don't ever butt into people's family business, especially in the deep south. those people don't cotton to outsiders. Heh.

The Master Says- C+ (6.5/10) This is a tough one for us, me in particular to grade. On one hand, it was enjoyable and added a little twist to the found footage genre. On the other, it felt a bit tame and never really went to the places that I feel it could have gone to had they pushed it... The ending seemed to piss people off too, though I didn't hate it other than the fact that it felt rushed. I don't know. It's a decent little movie with a bunch of flaws. Maybe I need to watch it again and see how it settles with me. You, however, may just like it.

Final Thoughts-
You know, she cleans up pretty well.

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