ATM (2012)

(aka LOL)
Release Date: VOD now, 4/6 Limited Theatrical
Written by: Chris Sparling
Directed by: David Brooks
Starring: Alice Eve, Josh Peck, Brian Geraghty
 
Despite the presence of Josh Peck, and the silly premise, we were actually looking forward to this movie. At first, it was because we thought ATM meant something else altogether, and we really wanted to see Alice Eve do it. When we realized the title ATM was referring to one of those places where you get money, we still thought we'd give it a chance. After all, Alice Eve is hot enough to take a chance on, isn't she?

Alice Eve and 3 dogs doing ATM... that's what we expected. (Picture stolen from ScreenJunkies.com. Click it and check 'em out.)

We're sorry we did. The movie is nothing more than a string of flimsy plot devices that serve only to allow the premise of this movie to exist. Why they were in that particular ATM to begin with was just silly, and what unfolded during the course of the movie was just as bad.

Here are the things that made absolutely no sense **BEWARE SPOILERS**:

Why did they park so far away? It's after midnight, it's freezing cold, your tag along buddy who insists on stopping for food only to cock block you needs money, so you get to an out of the way ATM and decide to park half way across the parking lot instead of right up front, which would have been quicker...come on.

Why did they need to stop for money anyway, when most restaurants take credit/debit cards? Seriously, this isn't the 90's anymore, the danger of late night ATM withdrawals isn't necessary.

This movie contains all the tension of a grilled cheese.

Why did 3 adult professionals not have one cell phone between them? One phone was left somewhere, another was out of battery power, and the girl left hers in her purse... in the car that's out in the middle of a dark parking lot... never happen. She would have been checking her Facebook or something while waiting. Plot devices like this suck.

Alice Eve + The Geek- Are we really supposed to believe that a chick as stunning as Alice Eve would for one minute, one second even, be drawn to the simpering, mumble mouthed, beta-male lead character? I know it's Hollywood, and anything can happen is it is written so, but come on... He mad her nervous to talk to? Maybe because she was afraid she'd giggle in his face when he asked her out, but we don't buy it for any other reason.

She is the toughest of the three.

Why were they such pussies? Sure you'd be cautious if a guy was mean mugging you from the depths of a dark hooded parka, especially in this situation, but you don't even try to push past him, at least once? Pussies, I say.

Why no cops? Cut the power to an ATM, and a silent alarm will trigger police response immediately. Kick, break or try to tamper with an ATM, and the same thing happens. They could have done something to alert the Po-Po. (Po-Po means police in Ebonics. You're welcome.)

The security guard? When the parking lot security guard shows up, he too parks half a mile out in the parking lot, and gets out of his car to investigate the strange goings on. Of course the wind is so loud and he's so far away that he cant hear the warnings of those trapped inside telling him to watch out... It makes zero sense that a security professional would park out in the dark while investigating something suspicious. If he felt pulling closer was too risky, he would have called it in to his home base first, and then proceeded. It made no sense at all.

Hoodface says "These suckers are scared to run! Heh!"

What in the hell was all of the "planning" going on during the credits? The end of the movie was about the best part of the whole thing, and yet we have no idea what it was all about. Hoodface was obviously planning to do this again, but why? His planning process gave off a vibe that reminded us of The Collector a bit, but it just left us wondering if the whole movie was a practice run for the crazy hi jinks of ATM Part 2.

Some of the movie was redeemable. It was slick looking and atmospheric, even if both of those elements never amounted to much of anything. It's always nice to see Alice Eve on screen, both as an actor and as a hot piece of eye candy. The concept, despite being silly, could have been made to be effective with some tweaking. As it stands though, the movie was mostly a disappointment.

Help Indeed.

The Master Says- D ATM is a movie that has its few good points totally ruined by the lack of any semblance of believability. It's a waste of Alice Eve, who is actually a decent actress on top of being ridiculously hot. We think it a mistake for the films producers to have released this on VOD before it hits theaters, as poor word of mouth is most likely going to kill its chances of making decent money at the box office. Save your money and watch it when it hits cable... at least you wont have to pay to feel cheated. Then again, some people will no doubt find this movie worth the price of admission. Not us.

Final Thoughts- Could Alice Eve be any hotter? Good Lord those hot British chicks!